THIEF CAUGHT RED-UNDERWEARED

Police in Long Island, New York, say that 18-year-old Taykim Ross stole $200, electronics and a pair of Air Jordan sneakers from an apartment Monday and then stopped in the backyard to try on the new shoes. That’s when a neighbor snapped a photo of him with red boxer shorts visible above his jeans. Later, Hempstead Village Police Officer Russell Harris was returning after a canvass of the neighborhood when he noticed someone taking garbage out in his rear-view mirror. Harris says he saw someone bending over with “bright red underwear.” Turns out, it was an exact match of the photo. Ross was arraigned Tuesday.
* When the guy bent over, the cop cracked the case.
* If only he’d also stolen a belt.
* The one teenager willing to take the garbage out, and this happens.
* The takeaway here is, never rob a house on garbage night.
* What’s up with the neighbor taking pictures of random guys with their underwear hanging out? That’s not weird?
* Plus, the thief couldn’t just sprint home? He had to stop in the backyard and try on the stolen shoes?
* It’s one thing to have poor fashion sense, but this is bigger than that.
* Wait, wasn’t this an old Sherlock Holmes case?
* Sure, “The Adventure of the Red Underwear.” No, wait, Sherlock Holmes had “The Adventure of the Red Circle.” My bad.
* Now he has to hope his cellmate doesn’t find the underwear attractive.