THE SUICIDE PODS ARE HERE!

Switzerland has just legalized a new way to die by assisted suicide. The country’s medical review board has authorized the use of the Sarco Suicide Pod, a portable coffin-like capsule with windows that can be transported to a tranquil place for a person’s final moments of life. It can be placed in an idyllic outdoor setting or in the premises of an assisted-suicide organization, for example, says the company. (* It can be at a Denny’s, if want!) The pod can be activated from inside. To qualify to use the pod, the person who wants to die must answer an online survey that is meant to prove whether they are making the decision of their own accord. (* Because nobody lies online.) If they pass, they will be told the location of the pod and given an access code. Says Inventor Philip Nitschke of Exit International, “The person will get into the capsule and lie down. Once inside, the person intending to end their life will have to answer pre-recorded questions and press a button that will start the process of flooding the interior with nitrogen, which will quickly reduce the oxygen level inside from 21 percent to 1 percent.” He said the person will likely feel disorientated or euphoric. “The whole thing takes about 30 seconds,” he said. “There is no panic, no choking. It’s very comfortable.”
* How does he know? Or were those his last words?
* Just in time for Christmas depression. Great marketing!
* Special offer for the holidays: BOGO – buy one, get one free.
* It looks like a tanning bed … Hey, why not just lay in a tanning bed and pump it full of nitrogen? Then you go peacefully AND you have great skin tone for the viewing!
* So you answer a bunch pre-recorded questions, press a button, and before you go it tells you Which Harry Potter character are you? “Hey, I’m Dumbledore— acckkk!!!”