THE FOUR GIFTS OF CHRISTMAS

Something currently catching traction on the internet is the “Four Gifts” of Christmas – a money- and time-saving rule for gift giving. The idea is that you buy only four presents per recipient — one each of something they “want, need, wear and read.” Those who use the rule claim it helps them purchase practical and usable gifts, as well as spoil their children with at least one present they really want.
* This isn’t the Four Gifts of Christmas; these are the four verbs of Christmas.
* Want booze, need booze, wear booze that I spill on myself, and read the booze label while I’m drinking the booze.
* In my house, the Four Gifts of Christmas are Re-gift, Revenge, Rite-Aid and Forgot.
* This is fine. I never know what to do with the ten lords a-leaping anyway.