SOCCER TEAM FAKED PLAYER’S DEATH TO AVOID NEXT GAME

How far have you gone to avoid doing something? A lower-level Irish soccer team faked the death of one of its players in an apparent attempt to avoid an upcoming game. Ballybrack FC falsely told officials with their Leinster Senior Football League that one of its players had died in a “traffic accident” on Thursday night. The league subsequently postponed Ballybrack’s game on Saturday and held a moment of silence for the player at all of its other games over the weekend. Then the league discovered that the player, Fernando LaFuente, was in fact alive and that his full-time employer had simply relocated him from Dublin to Galway. LaFuente said he was home playing video games when his teammates started sending him news articles and mass media. And that, he said, was “how I found out I was dead.” The league is now figuring out how to punish the club for falsely reporting the tragedy.
* Sudden death undertime?
* They’re gonna have to just pick one guy on the team and, you know, kill him.
* Are they sure this Fernando LaFuente guy isn’t a zombie?
* When Fernando heard the news, he did a forehead slap, then got a red card.
* How about from now on, the team is not allowed to use their hands to block their groins when defending against penalty kicks?
* PHONE TOPIC: How far have you gone to avoid something?