SHOPLIFTER STUFFS FOUR BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE DOWN HIS PANTS

A 45-year-old Okahumpka, Florida, man was arrested Friday night after stuffing four bottles of champagne down his shorts and walking out of a grocery store. Anthony Fields was observed on a Publix supermarket security camera stuffing nearly $153 worth of champagne down his shorts, then walking out of the store without paying. Fields was arrested, and the champagne was recovered.
* Four bottles of champagne? The brut!
* When they grabbed him he was so shocked his face went blanc.
* Once they took him into custody he wasn’t so bubbly.
* It’s like a drinking song: “Take one out, pass it about, 3 more bottles of champagne in my pants.”
* Whatever. Personally, I’ll never know what it would be like to have that much extra room in my pants.
* Now his lawyer is claiming they only have a third of a case against him.
* In case you’re wondering, “Okahumpka” is an old Indian word meaning “You just got humped.”
* With any luck the guy could be out in time to celebrate New Year’s Eve.
* He was arrested for champagne in his pants? From boxers to legal briefs.