SCARY MOVIES WILL GET YOU LAID

(Note: With “Halloween Kills” in theaters and Halloween fast approaching, we thought you might enjoy this story we originally ran in October of 2019.)
Experts say horror films can make you feel horny. According to Lia Holmgren, a Manhattan-based intimacy and relationship coach, it’s a matter of simple human instinct to want to be close to another person when you’re scared. Also, any time you feel frightened, there’s an increase in the hormones adrenaline and cortisol, and blood is pumped more forcefully to muscles and extremities — just like it is when you’re feeling randy. Holmgren cites a study conducted in Canada in the 1970s, in which men crossing a precarious, 450-foot suspension bridge showed greater attraction to a woman standing nearby than did men who had traversed a more sturdy bridge. The researchers’ conclusion: a mis-attribution of arousal. So, says Holmgren, when we’re watching horror movies, we have a state of fear and anxiety and it makes us have stronger feelings of sexual attraction towards other people.
* In any case, I apologize to my seatmates at last Saturday night’s screening of “It: Chapter 2”.
* Who knew that “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” was a chick flick?
* You know how strong this impulse is? It made a girl hold on tight to Michael Jackson in the “Thriller” video.
* This is different from when my wife screams when she sees me naked, right?
* Thanks, Lia Holmgren, for telling us the results of a 1970 Canadian study. Now go get a real job.