ROBBER ARMED WITH A POTATO

Providence, Rhode Island, police say a man carrying a potato disguised as a gun unsuccessfully attempted to rob a convenience store and a dry-cleaners Monday afternoon. At the convenience store, the manager told police he chased the suspect off with a baseball bat after the suspect shouted “Give me the money” to the cashier. Minutes later, police responded to a nearby dry-cleaners where a female clerk said a man fitting the same description and carrying a potato yelled “I need the money.” The clerk handed him a counterfeit $20 bill from a decoy cash register before he walked off. She described the suspect as being in his twenties with white lips.
* And she was promptly arrested for counterfeiting.
* Guy sounds like he was baked.
* Great. Now all the robbers in Providence, Rhode Island know the dry-cleaners has a decoy cash register.
* Does Mr. Potato Head have an alibi?
* This is why all small businesses should be armed with a paring knife and a pan full of hot oil.
* “Give me the money, or this spud’s for you!”
* You think this is bad? He fried his real gun with some eggs this morning.
* This could be a case of felony carbs.
* That’s what gave him away. When he said, “This gun is loaded. Loaded with carbs.”
* Whatever you do don’t get him a job in the prison kitchen.