MONDAY, Apr 4 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR MONDAY, April 4, 2022
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: LAWN CORONER

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL CORDON BLEU DAY
The Foodimentary website says this:
Five Food Finds about Cordon Bleu
The phrase “Cordon Bleu” means “Blue Ribbon” when referring to the dish.
Another use of the phrase “Cordon Bleu” comes from a distinguished order of sixteenth-century French knights, who apparently wore blue sashes and were therefore popularly referred to as the “Cordon-bleus.”
Cordon Bleu is a thinly pounded piece of meat (most often chicken, but also veal or pork) stuffed with ham and cheese, then breaded and fried.
Chicken Cordon Bleu is a relatively recent American creation, first found mentioned in writing in 1967.
Common variations on this recipe include baking instead of frying, skipping the breading, and switching the order of the meats.

SCHOOL LIBRARIAN DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“School Librarian Day honors those who serve our young students so well in the local school libraries. The education of young minds needs to be nurtured and fed. Feeding those minds with good quality, yet challenging reading material and reference materials is what school librarians excel at. Take a minute today to appreciate all the hard work that a school librarian does daily, and the patience the librarian displays, as he or she aids our youth. You may choose to show your appreciation to School Librarians in a variety of ways, including:
Give the librarian a big smile and a big “Thank You!”
Tell you librarian that she is doing a wonderful job.
Send an Ecard.
Buy an age appropriate book or reference material, and donate it to the library.

TELL A LIE DAY (or is it???)
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“If you ever need to tell a lie, today is the day to do so. We don’t create these days, we only report them. Why someone would create a day to encourage a person to lie is hard to comprehend. Be that as it may, today is the day to tell lies, big and small. Tomorrow, we can all get back to the virtue of ‘honesty is the best policy.’ If you find today a bit discomforting, you can look forward to National Honesty Day later in the month. Important Note: If you choose not to participate in this day, we will look up to you!”

VITAMIN C DAY
Vitamin C was first isolated by C.C. King at the University of Pittsburgh on April 4, 1932.

WALK AROUND THINGS DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Walk Around Things Day is an important day to avoid problems and risks, by simply walking around the potential problem. You wouldn’t walk under a ladder, would you? Then, it is also wise to walk around objects, especially those that pose risk or danger. ‘Walk around things’ can also be used figuratively. It is also wise to walk around, or avoid, topics, issues, and problems that are sticky, may provoke an argument, or are not readily solved. If there ever was a day to ‘Walk Around Things,’ today is that day.”

WORLD RAT DAY
The Days Of The Year website says this:
“Get two things straight right away – rats aren’t dirty, and James Cagney never said it! These are just two of the myths and misconceptions that World Rat Day hopes to dispel as it celebrates the joys of fancy rats. Anyone who keeps rats as pets or companions is already in on the secret: these animals are friendly, loyal, intelligent, and very endearing. Unfortunately they’ve had a bit of bad press over the years, what with the Black Death, Bubonic Plague and a thousand Pacific islands which have had their native wildlife chewed down to ground level and beyond. But what’s a few environmental and social catastrophes between friends? Once you get to know rats on a one-to-one basis, then all of their finer qualities will come to the fore. Why not drop in to your local World Rat Day event and discover just how adorably lovable they really are?”

April is:

Car Care Month
Celebrate Diversity Month
D.E.A.R Drop Everything and Read Month
International Guitar Month
Jazz Appreciation Month
Keep America Beautiful Month
National Card and Letter Writing Month
National Garden Month
National Greyhound Adoption Month
National Humor Month
National Poetry Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

GRAMMY AWARDS WINNERS LIST

Here are the main winners of Sunday night’s Grammy Awards.

– Record of the Year: “Leave the Door Open” – Silk Sonic
– Album of the Year: “We Are” – Jon Batiste
– Song of the Year: “Leave The Door Open” – Silk Sonic
– Best New Artist: Olivia Rodrigo
– Best Pop Solo Performance: “drivers license” – Olivia Rodrigo
– Best Pop Duo/Group Performance: “Kiss Me More” – Doja Cat featuring SZA
– Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album: “Love For Sale” – Tony Bennett & Lady Gaga
– Best Pop Vocal Album: “Sour” – Olivia Rodrigo
– Best Country Album: “Starting Over” – Chris Stapleton
– Best Country Duo/Group Performance: “Younger Me” – Brothers Osborne
– Best Country Song: “Cold” – Chris Stapleton
– Best Rock Song: “Waiting On A War” – Foo Fighters
– Best Rock Album: “Medicine At Midnight” – Foo Fighters
– Best Alternative Music Album: “Daddy’s Home” – St. Vincent
– Best Rap Album: “Call Me If You Get Lost” – Tyler, The Creator
– Best Traditional R&B Performance: “Fight For You” – H.E.R.
– Best Roots Gospel Album: “My Savior” – Carrie Underwood
– Best American Roots Song: “Cry” – Jon Batiste

WILL SMITH RESIGNED FROM THE ACADEMY OF MOTION PICTURES

In an attempt to diffuse the situation between himself and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, Will Smith on Friday resigned from the academy, rather than be sanctioned or thrown out. In a statement, Smith wrote:
“I have directly responded to the Academy’s disciplinary hearing notice, and I will fully accept any and all consequences for my conduct. My actions at the 94th Academy Awards presentation were shocking, painful, and inexcusable. The list of those I have hurt is long and includes Chris, his family, many of my dear friends and loved ones, all those in attendance, and global audiences at home. I betrayed the trust of the Academy. I deprived other nominees and winners of their opportunity to celebrate and be celebrated for their extraordinary work. I am heartbroken. I want to put the focus back on those who deserve attention for their achievements and allow the Academy to get back to the incredible work it does to support creativity and artistry in film. So, I am resigning from membership in the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, and will accept any further consequences the Board deems appropriate.” He ended with, “Change takes time and I am committed to doing the work to ensure that I never again allow violence to overtake reason.”
* Yes, I believe this is called the “You can’t fire me, I quit!” gambit.
* So now he won’t be able to attend the Oscars and sit through the stupid show. That’s not punishment, that’s reward.
* I guess from now on he won’t have to bother acting very good, since he won’t be nominated anymore.
* How much longer before we hear they’re doing “American Crime Story: Will Smith vs. The Oscars” miniseries on FX? A week, ten days?

THE BUZZ

WOMEN WHO EARN MORE THAN THEIR HUSBANDS STILL DO MORE HOUSEWORK

A study from the University of Bath, England, of more than 6,000 heterosexual marriages across North America found that women who are the breadwinners in their family – they earn more than their husbands – still do more housework than their spouse. Study author Dr. Joanna Syrda says, “The more they earned over their partner, the more housework they did.” She theorizes that what may be happening is that, when men earn less than women, couples neutralize this non-traditional situation through housework – in other words, wives do more and husbands do less as they try to offset this ‘abnormal’ situation by leaning into other conventional gender norms.”
* Or the husbands could be lazy freeloading jerks.
* Look, ladies, those video games aren’t gonna play themselves all day.
* If only women had that male gene that lets you live comfortably in filth.
* Just take the amount of money you earn over your husband, hire a maid and spend the rest on a spa day. Problem solved.

STUDY: CAT OWNERS ARE MORE ATTRACTIVE, HAVE MORE SEX

Amazing but true, apparently: According to research, cat owners are better looking and have more sex. A study from Finland’s University of Turku found women infected with a parasite called Toxoplasma gondii, commonly caught from cats, had 63 per cent more sex. (* Than the cat?) These women were also slimmer and seen as healthier. Both men and women carrying the parasite were perceived as more attractive. Scientists believe the tiny parasite subtly alters hosts’ behavior — possibly through its effects on key hormones which stimulate sexual urges – to increase the likelihood of being passed (* yes, but how does it make them more attractive?). The Toxoplasmosis is most commonly caught through used cat litter. However, most people are unaware they are carrying it. Researchers analyzed data on 213 adult humans, with those infected found to be a third more attractive.
* So … how can us non-cat-owners get some of this Toxoplasma-whatsis?
* A cat makes you more attractive, yet anecdotal evidence suggests that the more cats a woman has, the less attractive she is to a man.
* Yes, owning a cat makes a person more attractive, once you get past all the scratches and scarring.
* This study comes from the University of Turku. Turku is a Finnish word, as in “Don’t step in the cat turku.”
* The study’s from Finland, but it’s got more holes than Swiss cheese.

U.S. NEWS

JUDGE TOSSES STRAWBERRY POP-TART LAWSUIT

A federal judge in Manhattan has dismissed a class-action lawsuit accusing Kellogg of using misleading labeling to exaggerate the amount of strawberries in its Frosted Strawberry Pop-Tarts. US District Judge Andrew Carter said reasonable shoppers would not expect strawberries to be the main ingredient in a “pre-packaged, processed sugary treat called Frosted Strawberry Pop-Tarts.” The judge said Kellogg’s labeling described Pop-Tarts’ flavor, not the source of that flavor. If you wanted to know more, you could check the ingredient list, the judge said. And, he also rejected the idea that Pop-Tarts buyers missed out on the health benefits of strawberries, writing, “A reasonable consumer is unlikely to purchase a toaster pastry coated in frosting exclusively for the nutritional value of strawberries in its fruit filling.”
* And he ended his ruling with the word, “Duhhh.”
* And then he ate Exhibits A thru F.
* “Reasonable consumer.” There’s the flaw in his argument.
* If only you could also buy strawberries at the store, and put them on your Pop-Tarts.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

STORE CLERK ASSAULTED WITH CHOCOLATE BUNNY

In Canada, police in Brandon, Manitoba arrested a 27-year-old man for shoplifting and then assaulting a store employee with a solid chocolate bunny. The employee who confronted the shoplifter was hit with a Mr. Solid brand chocolate bunny. It’s solid chocolate, not hollow like cheap American chocolate bunnies. The employee suffered minor injuries. The accused shoplifter ran away but was found and arrested nearby, while still in possession of stolen merchandise. The merchandise, and the bunny, were returned to the store.
* It was hare-raising.
* How was he assaulted? With rabbit punches?
* At least it was a chocolate bunny and not, say, a jawbreaker.
* Worse yet, if it was Halloween, he could have been hit with a giant pumpkin.
* The suspect sounds like a real candy-ass.
* Is he cocoa? I mean, coo-coo?
* During his interrogation there wasn’t a Peep out of him.

MAN GOT 90 COVID VACCINATIONS FOR SCAM

A 60-year-old German man allegedly had himself vaccinated against COVID-19 dozens of times in order to sell forged vaccination cards with real vaccine batch numbers to people not wanting to get vaccinated themselves. The unnamed man, from the eastern Germany city of Magdeburg, received up to 90 shots against COVID-19 at vaccination centers for months until police caught him last month. He was caught at a vaccination center when he showed up for a COVID-19 shot for the second day in a row. Police confiscated several blank vaccination cards from him and initiated criminal proceedings. It was not immediately clear what kind of impact the approximately 90 shots of COVID-19 vaccines had on the man’s personal health.
* But they found that if he walks into a COVID ward at a hospital and burps or farts, everybody in there is cured.
* Wouldn’t a guy getting 90 COVID vaccines be pretty good evidence that the vaccines are okay?
* His arms must look like Popeye’s.
* If Popeye was a junkie full of needle marks.

FAKE PILOT

A former British Airways pilot was sentenced to a year in jail after pleading guilty to falsifying his flying experience. The unnamed pilot falsely claimed to have flown 1,610 hours as a captain and falsified training certifications while applying for a job with BA CityFlyer, British Airways’ regional airline. Between April 2016 and March 2018, he was employed as a pilot by BA CityFlyer, and now-defunct Irish regional airline Stobart Air. Officials first became suspicious after an incident in Switzerland when, according to testimony, the pilot pressed a button “no qualified pilot would.” Further details were not provided.
* It’s obvious what that button was. It was the button for the air conditioner while the plane was sitting on the ground waiting for takeoff. Pilots are simply not allowed to do that.
* There were also a few times when he was given clearance to taxi, and he actually left the plane and got a taxi.
* His other mistake as a pilot was ordering the fish.
* At least he didn’t turn the plane upside down, like Denzel Washington.
* As punishment, the man was sentenced to fly for Frontier.

TRENDING

ERIC CHURCH TO PLAY FREE CONCERT TO FANS HE SCREWED OVER

Country star Eric Church says he is scheduling a completely FREE show in San Antonio, Texas, later this year for anyone impacted by the one hs cancelled. Church cancelled a weekend concert at the last minute so he could attend the North Carolina vs. Duke game. Church says he’ll return to Texas in September for a “one of a kind” free gig for anyone who bought a ticket to the cancelled show.

JIMMYS SWITCH LATE-NIGHT SHOWS

This was pretty cool: Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel pulled an April Fools prank Friday night when the pair switched talk shows. Fallon manned the desk over at “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” while Kimmel hosted “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon.” Each Jimmy flew across the country to pull off the epic prank, as Fallon usually films in New York City while Kimmel is based in Hollywood. Discussing the prank over video chat, Kimmel and Fallon revealed that they originally wanted to pull off the epic switch for April Fools’ Day 2020, but couldn’t due to the coronavirus pandemic. Fallon brought along good friend Justin Timberlake, who appeared as his guest and spray painted “I ❤️ Matt Damon” on Kimmel’s desk. Kimmel sat down with Hugh Jackman to play the “Tonight Show” game, “Box of Lies.”

ESTELLE HARRIS, “MRS. POTATO HEAD,” DIES

Actress Estelle Harris, who voiced Mrs. Potato Head in “Toy Story” and played George Costanza’s mother on “Seinfeld,” died Saturday of natural causes, her family said. She was 93. Harris was known for her distinct high-pitched voice. Her lengthy resume includes appearances on the show “Night Court,” “Married … With Children” and “Star Trek: Voyager.”

C.W. MCCALL DIES

Remember the 1970’s hit song “Convoy”? It came out during the beginning of the CB craze. Remember the CB craze? How about Chia Pets? Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia! Anyway, C.W McCall, the country singer known for truck-themed songs like “Convoy” and, uh, well, known for “Convoy,” died on Friday, April 1 after a battle with cancer and two months in hospice. He was 93. Born William Fries Jr., he first created the character of C.W. McCall while working as creative director for an advertising agency in Nebraska. The character, an outlaw truck driver, was featured in a series of commercials for the Midwestern bread company Old Home Bread. “Convoy” was the singer’s signature song, selling an estimated 7 million copies and becoming a certified gold by the RIAA.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE: April 1-3

1. Morbius: $39 million
2. The Lost City: $14.8 million
3. The Batman: $10.8 million
4. Uncharted: $3.6 million
5. Spider-Man: No Way Home: $1.4 million

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

April 17, Sunday – Easter
April 15, Friday – U.S. Tax Day
May 8, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 30, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Tuesday – Flag Day
June 19, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 21, Tuesday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 5:14 A.M. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Jamie Lynn Spears (actress, singer, “Zoey 101,” sister of Britney) … 31
Natasha Lyonne (actress, writer/producer, “Russian Doll,” “Orange Is The New Black”) … 43
David Blaine (magician, illusionist, endurance artist) … 49
Robert Downey, Jr. (actor, “Iron Man”) … 57
David Cross (actor, comedian, “Arrested Development,” the “Alvin and the Chipmunks” movies, “Mr. Show”) … 58
David E. Kelley (writer/producer, “Big Little Lies,l” Ally McBeal,” “The Practice,” “Boston Legal”) … 66
Steve Gatlin (singer, Gatlin Brothers) … 71
Craig T. Nelson (actor, “Grace and Frankie,” “Parenthood,” “Poltergeist”) … 78

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I know very little about acting. I’m just an incredibly gifted faker.”

(A) Arnold Schwarzenegger
(B) Sylvester Stallone
(C) Robert Downey, Jr.

ANSWER: (C) Robert Downey, Jr.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2017 – Alibaba became the world’s largest retailer according to US Securities and Exchange Commission.
* Sorry, Walmart.

1958 – The first protest march against nuclear weapons was held.
* Basically, nuclear weapons stopped being cool once other countries got them.

1932 – Vitamin C was first isolated at the University of Pittsburgh.
* Although it would be some 60 years before she had a hit record.

1818 – Congress decided the U.S. flag would consist of 13 red and white stripes and 20 stars, with a new star to be added for every new state.
* It beat out Benjamin Franklin’s idea that each state should be represented by a delicious chocolate cake.

1581 – Frances Drake completed the circumnavigation of the world.
* Good move. Most women prefer a man who’s circumnavigated.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2008 – Procol Harum singer Gary Brooker won back full royalty rights to the band’s worldwide hit, ‘A Whiter Shade of Pale,’ at London’s Court of Appeal. The decision overturned a 2006 ruling that organist Matthew Fisher was entitled to a 40% portion of royalties on the 1967 hit after he argued he had written the song’s organ melody. The court ruled there was an “excessive delay” in the claim being made – nearly 40 years after the song was recorded.

2008 – Beyonce Knowles married Jay-Z at his New York apartment. Coldplay frontman Chris Martin and wife Gwyneth Paltrow and Beyonce’s former bandmates in Destiny’s Child, Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams all attended the private ceremony.

2004 – Usher was at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Confessions,” the singer’s second U.S. No.1.

2003 – 50 Cent’s latest album “Get Rich or Die Tryin'” sold more than four million copies in two months.

1998 – K-Ci & Jojo started a three-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “All My Life.”

1992 – The film soundtrack from “Wayne’s World” started a two-week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart.

1987 – Starship started a two-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Nothin’s Gonna Stop Us,” taken from the film “Mannequin.”

1981 – Styx went to No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Paradise Theater.”

1970 – Crosby Stills Nash & Young went to No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Deja Vu.”

1964 – The Beatles held the top five places in the U.S. singles chart, at No. 5 “Please Please Me,” No.4 “I Want To Hold Your Hand,” No.3, “Roll Over Beethoven,” No.2 “Love Me Do” and at No.1 “Can’t Buy Me Love.”

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

Note: These questions and answers apply to the working world and workplaces BEFORE Covid.

1. 40% of working Americans say they take off at least 5 days a year to do THIS. What is it?
Catch up on sleep

2. 10% of workers do THIS at least once a week during lunch. What is it?
Drink an alcoholic beverage

3. 18% of people say they have been late for work because of THIS. What is it?
Forgetting their cell phone

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