MONDAY, Apr 22 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

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MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR MONDAY, April 22, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: WHISTLE STOP

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

EARTH DAY

GIRL SCOUT LEADER DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Girl Scout Leader Day recognizes and honors the many adult volunteers to the girl scouting program. Girl Scout Leader Day began on April 22, 1982, when a flag honoring Girl Scout leaders was flown over the Capitol building in Washington, D.C. This day honors the thousands of volunteers who help to make the Girl Scout program a success. Celebrate today, by thanking the girl scout leaders in your troop and area. Send a note, or card of thanks. Girl Scout groups can hold parties or have a cake at meetings. Gift are not a requirement, or an expectation. One of the ways girl scouts can thank their leaders, is to do their best in everything they do. Your leaders get their reward by seeing you grow into outstanding citizens and human beings!”

EARTH DAY / MOTHER EARTH DAY

NATIONAL JELLY BEAN DAY

OKLAHOMA DAY
Commemorating the Oklahoma Land Rush of 1889.

April is:

Adopt a Greyhound Month
Car Care Month
Celebrate Diversity Month
D.E.A.R Drop Everything and Read Month
International Guitar Month
Jazz Appreciation Month
Keep America Beautiful Month
National Card and Letter Writing Month
National Garden Month
National Humor Month
National Poetry Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday though Wednesday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites

MONDAY, Apr 22

“Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen”
Netflix – Comedy Special
Synopsis: The irreverent Scottish comedian tackles big themes like death, decline and the disappointments of middle age in her stand-up special filmed in Bristol. Sounds like a laugh riot.

“Hip-Hop and the White House”
Hulu – Documentary
Synopsis:Explores hip-hop’s rise from marginalized urban culture to powerful mainstream force alongside its intersections with presidential politics and policies from the 1970s to present day.

WEDNESDAY, Apr 24

Season Premiere:
Apple TV+ – “The Big Door Prize”

TAYLOR SWIFT CURSING A HELLUVA LOT MORE THESE DAYS

Like she hasn’t had enough publicity this weekend, Taylor Swift fans have noticed that, with each new album release, she is cursing more and more. Hell yes, she is. One fan has made a chart depicting the number of bad words on each of her albums.
– Her first album contained one singe “damn.”
– Her fourth album, Red, had one “hell.”
– Her fifth album, 1989, had a damn and two hells.
– Reputation introduced the ‘S’ word.
– Lover had a hall, a damn and two B-words.
– Folklore had ten curse words, including a couple uses of the ever popular “F word.”
– Midnights had 37 curses.
– The new one, The Tortured Poets Department, has (by our count) 34 B’s, F’s and S’s.
* There are more F’s than my high school report card.
* Is it a lot of cursing? Put it this way: 50 Cent heard the album and blushed.
* Martin Scorcese wants to make a movie out of her lyrics.
* There are merchant seamen out there screaming, “Yo, Taylor, bring it down a notch.”
* She’s a BILLIONAIRE. How hard can life be?

UNIVERSAL STUDIOS TOUR TRAM CRASHES

Fifteen people were injured – most of them minor injuries but one was said to be critical – after a tram crashed on the Universal Studios Hollywood tour on Saturday night. The tram reportedly struck a rail, according to investigators. The driver “indicated a mechanical failure” with the tram.
* Those things go about 2 miles an hour. They’re death traps!
* Were they on the “Fast and the Furious” part of the tour?
* Just out of habit I expected to see the word “Boeing” somewhere.
* Officials say an Earthquake caused the tram to crash into a giant shark, and everybody went Psycho.
* At least they’re still using practical effects at Universal, not some cheesy CGI crash.

THE BUZZ

A WOMAN’S TOUCH

Reddit asked single men who had a woman move in, “What are examples of ‘a woman’s touch’ that she added?” Some of the responses;
– “We’ve spent the budget of a small country on pillows and blankets. My husband tries to deny it but he loves all of my plush additions.”
– “She helped me understand when clothes were beyond saving. I actually look pretty good, now.”
– “Empty space is immediately filled. We even put up shelves so she could fill empty wall space. Then of course the shelves were empty, so things had to be put on them.”
– “More than one of everything.”
– “I cook a lot so having plenty of room to move stuff around is important. Useless clutter stresses me out. I like having flowers and candles but don’t just put like, a bunch of ceramic clowns everywhere.”
– “She saw my hair routine and told me it was all wrong. We went out and spent close to $100 In new shampoo, conditioner, a coconut rehydrator and a curling boost creme. My hair has never looked as nice as it does now before she moved in.
– “I didn’t realize how unorganized I was until she organized things for me, which led to me having less stuff to worry about, which led to me becoming calmer which improved my life and health by a lot.”
– “I now have a bunch of signs written in glitter telling me to ‘Be Fierce’ or to ‘Get it girl’ which is nice. When I wake up I often forget to be fierce or to get it girl so the daily reminder is helpful.”
* Hard to believe some of these guys got someone to move in.
* I never even heard of the word ‘plush’ until after I got married.
* There’s a reason there are so many catalogues full of crap, guys, and you’re living with it.
* There’s “nesting,” and then there’s “nesting on steroids.”
* PHONE TOPIC: Guys, do you appreciate a ‘woman’s touch’ around your home? What do you like or dislike?

WHY GREEK STATUES HAVE SMALL PENISES

Many art historians – and by many, it’s probably just this one guy – have wondered why all the classic Greek statues of nude man have small, uh, organs. It turns out that was the style at the time. In the ancient Greek world of around 400 BC, large penises were not considered desirable (* They must have gotten in the way of all that Greco wrestling.), nor were they a sign of power or strength. In fact, in Greek drama, the foolish and dumb characters routinely were depicted with large genitals — it was a sign of stupidity. Historian Paul Chrystal has conducted research into this ancient ideal (* Way to specialize, Paul!). Chrystal says, “The small penis was consistent with Greek ideals of male beauty. It was a badge of the highest culture and a paragon of civilization.”
* Well, tickle my toga and call me Zeus! Honey, if you’re listening, I’m a paragon!
* So we can assume all the ancient Greek gods drove GMC Sierra 1500 pickups?
* This is why the male statues are never smiling. And why the female statues are never smiling.
* I always assumed that, by the time they got to that part of the statue, they’d run out of marble.

U.S. NEWS

AUDIO – FLORIDA MAN ASKS IF HE CAN ________ WHILE BEING ARRESTED

[Time to play “Wheel of Florida Man”! Play the sounder, read the headline, have listeners fill in the blank.]
CLIP: The “Wheel of Florida Man” sounder.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)com/prep/wp-content/uploads/WheelOfFloridaMan-Intro(dot)
The headline: “A Florida Man Asked Police Officers If He Could _____________ While Being Arrested”
The story: A Florida man asked officers to let him OPEN A BEER as he was being arrested.
Port Orange police responded to a dispute between neighbors shortly before 9 p.m. last Tuesday. A man alleged that his neighbor drove by earlier, “telling me he was going to shoot me.” At that moment, they heard a gunshot. Officers followed the sound and found the suspect, Brett McPeek, in front of his house, wearing sunglasses at night. He told officers, “I’m cracking this beer, OK?” Officers noted Mr. McPeek had two beers in his hand. He said, “This beer is cold, sir, and I wanna drink it. I’m gonna drink this beer, is that cool?” A search at his property turned up two handguns, one of which had a spent shell casing. McPeek was charged with aggravated assault with a firearm and using a firearm while under the influence of alcohol.
* Doesn’t Florida have a “Stagger Your Ground” law?
* The gunshot was ’cause he wanted a shot ‘n’ a beer.
* Sure, you finish that beer while we finish the paperwork. We want your arrest to be as comfortable as possible. Said no cop ever.
* Usually these drunks just shoot their mouth off.

MAGICIAN BANNED FROM MAGIC CASTLE FOR REVEALING TRICKS

A professional magician who calls himself Murray the Magician is in hot water with some of his fellow magicians. Murray Sawchuck, who is well-known in magic circles (* nerd circles, more like) got himself banned from the famous Magic Castle nightclub in Hollywood for revealing magic tricks. Back in January, Murray and his wife, Dani, made a YouTube video in which he’d perform tricks for the camera, and his wife revealed how they were done. The tricks were mostly basic illusions one could buy at any magic shop. For example, a disappearing bouquet of flowers gets sucked into the base of the trick table. The video got 65 million views. But then, on March 5, Murray got a letter from The Academy of Magical Arts telling him: “You have been suspended pending an investigation for violating our rules by exposing magic online.” Murray was BANNED FROM ENTERING THE MAGIC CASTLE. Last Wednesday, six Magic Council members met with Murray as he pled his case, pointing out that ever since the internet came along, the so-called ‘code of secrecy’ went out the window. He also pointed out that exposing basic principals of magic forces magicians to be more entertaining and charismatic.
* Did he bring along Exhibits A & B, and by that I mean Penn & Teller?
* Magic castles and magic councils? What realm are we in?
* This Academy of Magical Arts – do they have a mascot? The Fightin’ Houdinis? Do they have a football team that runs nothing but trick plays?
* The Academy of Magical Arts, or as they’re known at Hogwarts, “Losers.”
* 65 million views. That’s a whole lotta people with too much free time.
* Something tells me they’re not gonna make this guy disappear.

MASSIVE WIENER SPILL ON INTERSTATE 65

A semi-tractor trailer spilled thousands of hot dogs after crashing on Interstate 65 in Louisville, Kentucky, early last Friday morning.The call came in about 1 a.m. for a reported crash on I-65 South. The truck hit the wall on the interstate, which caused the trailer to uncouple from the semi. Police said more than a thousand hot dogs ejected from the trailer (that’s EJECTED) onto the highway. The road had to be shut down for hours to allow crews to remove the truck and clean up the flattened franks.
* All those wieners and only one semi you say?
* How many hotdogs spilled? Can you give us a ballpark estimate?
* Where’s Joey Chestnut when you need him?
* The hot dog spill happened in Louisville, but the citizens of nearby Frankfort were put on alert. The Frankforters, that is to say.
* Then the raccoons attacked.

SHORTAGE OF WEIGHT LOSS DRUGS TO LAST UNTIL JUNE

It appears that a shortage of popular weight loss medications will continue through June. The drugs Wegovy and Zepbound are in tight supply and may be hard to obtain for the next several months, according to the pharmaceutical companies. Currently, only the highest dose of Wegovy is available, and just the lowest dose of Zepbound is readily available. Patients typically start at the lowest dose and work their way up to higher doses. The FDA anticipates limited availability through at least June. If your pharmacy runs out of either Wegovy or Zepbound, experts recommend reaching out to neighboring pharmacies, telehealth pharmacies or even Amazon Pharmacy.
* Don’t just reach out. Run! Run to that other pharmacy to see if they have any! It’s called exercise – works wonders!
* I bet I know somebody who won’t have trouble getting some – and her name rhymes with Moprah.
* Get ready to gain back those ten pounds you just spent three days losing.
* So we’ll all be larger just in tome for swimsuit season. Thanks, Big Pharma!

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

PASSENGER BREAKS LEG HALF-HOUR INTO 7-HOUR FLIGHT

A man was left suffering in excruciating pain for over six hours after he broke his leg just 30 minutes into a flight from Bali to New Zealand. The 47-year-old man, named Niko, was walking back to his seat from the bathroom when the plane dropped from severe turbulence. He came down hard, suffering a fractured tibia and fibula. There was a doctor on board the flight but only the over-the-counter painkiller Panadol was available to relieve the pain. And you should also know: probably not important, but the plane was a Boeing 787-9 Dreamliner, and the airline is calling it a case of “clear-air turbulence,” which happens in a cloud-free sky.
* Still, a broken leg on a plane beats getting sucked away when a door blows out.
* Panadol, and he bought out the entire drink cart.
* You can’t tell me there’s a plane load of people flying in Southeast Asia and none of them were carrying elephant-grade narcotics.
* “We can turn around and be back at the airport in 30 minutes, or we can fly another six-and-a-half hours. Hmmm… what to do, what to do?”
* WEIRD coincidence: “Break a leg” is what Peter Graves always used to say on the set of “Airplane.”

TRENDING

ROCK & ROLL HALL OF FAME 2024 INDUCTEES

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame announced its class of 2024 Sunday night. Here’s who’s gettin’ in:
– Cher
– Ozzy Osbourne
– Mary J. Blige
– A Tribe Called Quest
– Dave Matthews Band
– Foreigner
– Peter Frampton
– Kool & the Gang
– The event will also honor Jimmy Buffett, Dionne Warwick, Norman Whitfield and MC5 with the Musical Excellence Award; Big Mama Thornton, Alexis Korner and John Mayall will receive the Musical Influence Award; and Suzanne de Passe will earn the Ahmet Ertegun Award.
The induction ceremony is Oct. 19 and takes place in Cleveland, Ohio. It will stream live on Disney+ (* the streamer famous for its strong ties to rock and roll.)

THE MOST VALUABLE VINYL RECORDS

Here are the Most Valuable Vinyl Records, According to Experts
1. “Once Upon a Time in Shaolin” by Wu-Tang Clan. Wu-Tang printed only one vinyl record, and sold it with the stipulation that the owner of the record would not release the recording to the public until the year 2103. It was bought by infamous pharma-bro Martin Shkreli for around $2 million before he was convicted of securities fraud. The feds seized the album and supposedly still have the record in their possession.
2. “White Album” by The Beatles (Early Numbered Editions). For the first pressings of the White Album, each album had its own number. The most valuable version of the record was in Ringo Starr’s collection for over 50 years, numbered No.0000001. Ringo sold it to a collector for $790,000 in 2015.
3. “My Happiness” by Elvis Presley. This single was Presley’s first recording, and only 500 of these records were pressed and released.
4. “The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan” by Bob Dylan (Withdrawn Version). Some copies of this album that have four unreleased songs that was withdrawn before being rereleased.
5. “Black Album” by Prince. 500,000 copies of this album were originally released in 1987 before Prince demanded they be recalled becasue he thought it was too “dark” for his audience and it was cursed. Most copies of the “Black Album” were destroyed but a few survived. Several copies of the album had already been put into circulation before Prince initiated the recall.
6. “Led Zeppelin” (their first album, with Original Blue Lettering) The original UK pressings of the album feature turquoise lettering on the front cover. Later editions of “Led Zeppelin” feature orange lettering
7. “God Save the Queen” by Sex Pistols (Originals). The single came out on A&M Records in 1977, but then behavior by Sid Vicious and Johnny Rotten caused the label to drop the group. A&M destroyed every copy of the group’s first vinyl single. Or did they? Only nine copies of this legendary vinyl single remain and are valued at around $20,000 each.

JELLY ROLL OPENS MUSIC STUDIO IN JUVENILE DETENTION CENTER

Country music star Jelly Roll has helped open a music studio inside Davidson County Juvenile Detention Center in Nashville, Tennessee, where he was once incarcerated. A portion of the proceeds from Jelly Roll’s Bridgestone Arena headlining show in December helped fund the program. Jelly has talked before about creating a music studio in the detention center and how he wants “to bring hope” to troubled youths. He says, “They were born into just whatever situation it was, and sometimes they can’t see past that situation or that neighborhood or that environment. I just hope to bring hope to that and kind of be a beacon and a light for those kids.”

KEVIN BACON GOES BACK TO “FOOTLOOSE” SCHOOL

Kevin Bacon returned to the high school where 1984’s Footloose was filmed, 40 years after the movie’s release. The actor gave a speech to the school’s student body in Payson, Utah, on Saturday, following a student-led social media campaign, hoping to get to Bacon to attend the prom before the school was relocated. Bacon told the crowd, “Go Lions!” Oh – and he also said, “I think that it’s amazing the power that this movie has had to just kind of bring people together, and connect on the basic ideas there are behind the movie — you know, standing up to authority sometimes, and to being forgiving to people who are not exactly the same as you, and for standing up for your own freedoms and your right to express yourself, and for having compassion for other people.” Now, let’s all dance.

TOM SELLECK: NEVER EMAILED, NEVER TEXTED

Tom Selleck tells People magazine he has never sent a text or an email. The 79-year-old actor said he ‘occasionally’ looked himself up online while researching his memoir, You Never Know, but he largely stays away from the digital world and gets either his secretary or his wife Jillie to answer his messages. He says Jill is happy to reply to texts on his behalf.

DAYTIME EMMY AWARD NOMINATIONS

Here are some of the major category nominees for the 51st Daytime Emmy Awards. The show will air live June 7 on CBS:
– Daytime Drama: The Bay, The Bold and the Beautiful, Days of our Lives, General Hospital, Neighbors, The Young and the Restless
– Talk Show: The Jennifer Hudson Show, The Kelly Clarkson Show, Tamron Hall, Turning The Tables with Robin Roberts, The View
– Cooking Show: Be My Guest with Ina Garten, Family Dinner, Selena + Chef: Home for the Holidays, Valerie’s Home Cooking, What Am I Eating? with Zooey Deschanel
– Home Show: Fixer to Fabulous, Fixer Upper: The Hotel, Hack My Home, Martha Gardens, Windy City Rehab
– The most unusual nomination is 98-year-old Dick Van Dyke who was nominated for playing “Mystery Man/Timothy Robicheaux” on “Days of our Lives” on Peacock streaming.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE (April 19-21)

1. Civil War – $11 million
2. Abigail – $10 million
3. Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire – $9.4 million
4. Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare – $9 million
5. Kung Fu Panda 4 – $4.6 million

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

TODAY – Earth Day
May 12, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 27, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Friday – Flag Day
June 16, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 20, Thursday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 4:50 P.M. EST)

BIRTHDAYS

Amber Heard (actress, ex-Mrs. Johnny Depp, “Aquaman” movies, “The Stand” TV series) … 38
Eric Mabius (actor, “Chicago Fire”) … 53
Jeffrey Dean Morgan (actor, “The Walking Dead,” “The Unholy”) … 58
Peter Frampton (rock singer/guitarist) … 74
John Waters (film director) … 78
Jack Nicholson (actor) … 87

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’ve always been a private person, and I’ve always valued my private life.”

(A) Kim Kardashian
(B) Prince Harry
(C) Amber Heard

ANSWER: (C) Amber Heard

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2002 – Actor Robert Blake was charged with murder, solicitation of murder and conspiracy in the shooting death of his wife, Bonny Lee Bakley, outside a Los Angeles restaurant. He was later found not guilty in a criminal trial. In 2005, Blake was found liable in a California civil court for her wrongful death.
* I don’t know. It didn’t seem to have the pizazz of the O.J. case. I give it a 5 out of 10.

1999 – NATO warplanes struck directly against Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic, destroying his luxurious mansion. He wasn’t home at the time.
* You would think a smart bomb could come back later …

1995 – The first beauty contest for camels was held in Saudi Arabia. It was called “Miss Dromedary.”
* And no, I don’t know if there was a swimsuit competition.

1970 – Millions of Americans concerned about the environment observed the first “Earth Day.”
* Is the environment much better after more than 40+ years? Well, we HAVE banned most public smoking …

1952 – An atomic test conducted in Nevada became the first nuclear explosion shown on live network television.
* It remained the biggest bomb ever seen on TV until “Space Force.”

1864 – Congress authorized the use of the phrase “In God We Trust” on U.S. coins.
* Only fitting, since they knew we couldn’t trust Congress.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2010 – Bret Michaels was rushed to a hospital. It was discovered that he had suffered from a brain hemorrhage. Two weeks earlier Michaels had undergone an emergency appendectomy.

1991 – The Dave Matthews Band played their first ever-live show when they appeared at The Earth Day festival in Charlottesville, Virginia.

1979 – As a condition of Keith Richard’s sentence for drug trafficking, the Rolling Stones played the first of two benefit concerts for the blind in Toronto.

1978 – John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd made their first ever appearance as The Blues Brothers when they appeared on Saturday Night Live.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 46% of people surveyed said they never do THIS at work. What is it?
Use the work bathroom

2. 17% of people surveyed said they use THESE at work. What are they?
Post-It Notes

3. 10% of people surveyed said they’ve done THIS at work. What is it?
Quit by text

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