MAN WANTS TO LEGALLY MARRY TWO WOMEN

A Montana man, inspired by the U.S. Supreme Court decision legalizing gay marriage, has applied for a marriage license so that he can legally marry his second wife. Nathan Collier and his wives Victoria and Christine applied at the Yellowstone County Courthouse in Billings on Tuesday in an attempt to legitimize their polygamous marriage. Montana, like all 50 states, outlaws bigamy but Collier said he plans to sue if the application is denied. “It’s about marriage equality,” Collier told The Associated Press Wednesday. “You can’t have this without polygamy.” County clerk officials initially denied Collier’s application, then said they would consult with the county attorney’s office before giving him a final answer. Collier, 46, said that dissent inspired him. He owns a refrigeration business in Billings and married Victoria, 40, in 2000. He and his second wife, Christine, had a religious wedding ceremony in 2007, but to avoid bigamy charges, they did not sign a marriage license. Collier said he is a former Mormon who was excommunicated for polygamy and now belongs to no religious organization.
* Wow. Imagine how complicated joint income tax forms are going to get.
* Thanks, Chaz Bono. Although in this case, I’m not sure why.
* Okay, let me go through this real slow for you, Nathan. If there is an adult that people want to marry, and one gender can marry the adult while another gender can’t that’s a violation of equal protection.
* Meanwhile, saying that no adult can be married to two others is not a violation of equal protection because it applies to everyone equally.
* So go back to your cabin and start your manifesto again. Your argument sucks.
* Oh, and did you really think the Supreme Court was going to say, “Wait, a second. Nathan from Montana is making a good point here”?
* Here’s the angle he should take: What if the two women were conjoined twins? Ow – now my head hurts.
* Maybe having a law for everything humans do wasn’t such a great plan.
* That being said, your dissent is welcome. If we didn’t have dissent we’d all still be speaking in British accents, instead of just Madonna.
* Next: A guy in Nebraska who wants to marry his miniature horse.