MAN SETS UNDERWEAR ON FIRE IN WALGREENS

A Modesto, California, Walgreens was briefly evacuated Saturday morning after a man set his underwear on fire in the bathroom. The man, 45-year-old Andrew Cheadle, told police he’d had an accident and was trying to get his underwear off but couldn’t, so he used a lighter to burn them off. (* ???????!!) Cheadle threw the burning underwear in the toilet which quickly extinguished the fire, but smoke filled the bathroom, prompting an evacuation of the store. Cheadle left the store, politely telling several employees that he started the fire. He was found in a nearby neighborhood and arrested on several outstanding warrants.
* Proving what I always say: if your underwear’s on fire, you will somehow find a way to take them off.
* If I worked at a store and some weirdo told me his soiled underwear was on fire in the bathroom, I’d just let the store burn, man.
* I bet he was at Walgreens trying to find something to keep him from crapping his pants.
* Uh, for the record, aisle 3, toward the back on the right.