Today Is…
Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!
TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
DISNEY LAYS OFF PIXAR WORKERS
Disney, now known as Monsters, Inc.
ESPN FIRES ANNOUNCER IN MIDDLE OF LIVE BROADCAST
“Bye bye baby!” – Russ Hodges
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
OWN A PIECE OF THE WORLD CUP TURF: $450
A little piece of New Jersey.
“THE ODYSSEY” IN IMAX: ONLY 25 THEATERS
And they’re all sold out.
DISNEY REBOOTS MICKEY MOUSE CLUB
And doing it without a net.
“TODAY SHOW” INTRUDER LUNGES AT CRAIG MELVIN
Who coulda forecast this, right Al Roker?
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
How can you tell if a hamburger was grilled in space?
It’s a little meteor.
What did one pig say to the other pig in Phoenix in July?
I’m bacon!
A guy is dancing with a girl, and they’re really swinging.
But every time he twirls her around, she gets two inches taller. He says, “What’s going on?” She says, “You’re unscrewing my wooden leg.”
What did the full glass say to the empty glass?
You’re drunk.
The CEO of a big company walked into the office and saw a man scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.
The CEO asked, “What are you doing?” The man says, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.” The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?” Man, “1000 dollars” The CEO counts out $2000 and gives it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!” The guys takes the money and leaves. CEO says to the reception, “Who was that guy?” The receptionist says, “Pizza delivery”.
U.S. NEWS
MICHIGAN MAN DUMPS ANIMAL PARTS AT CEMETERY
The plot thickens.
GREASE THIEVES
Grease is the word.
BEAR STUCK IN CAR, HONKS HORN ALL NIGHT
Then, bear left.
MAN TAKES $500,000 POLICE SWAT VEHICLE ON JOYRIDE
Probably to impress a girl.
MIME ARRESTED FOR BOTHERING WOMEN
He did unspeakable things.
AUDIO: VETERAN SMACKS YOUNG GUY AT CUBS GAME FOR NOT STANDING DURING NATIONAL ANTHEM
The rocket’s red glare.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
CHEF FACES JAIL TIME FOR INTENTIONAL ANTS ON THE FOOD
There’s a fly in my soup.
JAPAN CREATES NEW WORD FOR HOW HOT IT IS
Cruel Heat Day.
VISIT GLORIOUS DUBAI!
Don’t forget the sunscreen!
AUDIO: PILOTS GET FOOD POISONING
Surely you can’t be serious.
SPAIN SOCCER TEAM MEMBERS AWARDED THEIR WEIGHT IN TOMATOES
¡Vaya! ¡Tomates! Muchas gracias, tacaños.
AUSTRALIAN WOMAN GIVES BIRTH TO IDENTICAL QUADS
Eight arms to hold you.
GUY BREAKS MILE WORLD RECORD
Hot to trot.
WOMAN CAUGHT SMUGGLING PYTHON IN HER BRA
Snakes in a Bra on a Plane.
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
That Bike’s Gone, Bro
Seal In A Bucket
Laundry Day In The Batcave
Feed Me
Evel Kniev——
Lego Pants
THE BUZZ
SURVEY – SLEEP HABITS CAUSE BREAKUPS
Snooze ya lose.
IF YOUR CAR HAD A MAGIC BUTTON
I’m sure Elon is working on it.
DUMB HEADLINES
We’re in full summer dumb mode.
NICKNAMES
It means we like you.
SURVEY: YOUR DREAM JOB
Mattress tester.
WE SIT TOO MUCH
Shocking study from the Sherlock Institute.
THE MOST-PURCHASED ICE CREAM FLAVORS
Fro-yo? No-no.
SHOWER THOUGHTS
Thanks for sharing.
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
HAUNTED HEIST
Starts Friday, July 24 in theaters.
PINOCCHIO UNSTRUNG
Starts Friday, July 24 in theaters.
THE ODYSSEY
Starts Friday, July 17 in theaters.
MOANA
Starts Friday, July 10 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
BUZZFEST
Who doesn’t like a good summer music festival?
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, July 24.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
ALPHA-MALE BITS
Part of this new vicious breakfast.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, July 17.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – Christmas In July
‘Tis the season to be stupid.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, July 10,
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND- The Bed Bunker
If at first you don’t succeed – at selling cars – try selling something else.
LAWN DIRECTOR
Be the first on your block to have a blockbuster lawn.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, July 3.
SONIC BOOMERS
For when you’re tired of fireworks that just go boom.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
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