MAN CLIMBS TRUMP TOWER

A man scaled the side of Trump Tower in midtown Manhattan on Wednesday afternoon with what looked like large suction cups, drawing hundreds of onlookers and prompting a significant police response. The 58-story building is headquarters for the election campaign of Donald Trump. Sources told The Post the man’s first name is Steve, and he is a resident of Virginia. A witness told The Post he saw the man take out a sign from his backpack and show it to those working inside. He also took out an electronic sketch pad, but accidentally dropped it. Dozens of helicopters hovered as the climber scaled story after story of the glass building on Fifth Avenue. Cops climbed through the building’s air conditioning vents to reach him, but he repeatedly rebuffed their pleas and suctioned away from them. At one point, a cop cut out a window two floors over him and stuck his head out to talk to him – but the man ignored the officer. “I don’t know who he is, why he’s doing this but he’s wasting taxpayers money right now,” said one law enforcement official.
* Was that official talking about the climber, or Donald Trump?
* These people playing Pokemon Go are getting a little nuts.
* That’s what the sign said he was holding up to the people inside the building – “Gotta Catch ‘Em All!”
* Suction cups? Was it Steve, or Wile E. Coyote?
* This sounds like a job for … The Taser Drone!
* He was going up, you see. Usually people are coming out the windows and trying to climb down.
* He’s got suction cups? Get him down to the Olympics and let him work for Michael Phelps.
* P.S. If you haven’t heard about those suction cups our swimmers are using, that suggestion isn’t going to make a lot of sense.
* Gee, you hate to see this presidential campaign get weird.
* This campaign turns out one crazy story a day and right now we’re two months ahead.