LOOSE MONKEY IN MASSACHUSETTS

A 12-pound monkey named Dizzy escaped from a Massachusetts zoo Wednesday. Employees temporarily closed the Zoo in Forest Park, in Springfield, as they tried to recapture the monkey. A worker was cleaning Dizzy’s enclosure and had walked out to help a visitor when the monkey twisted a doorknob and let itself out. Something like that had never happened before, the zoo said. Zoo officials say Dizzy poses no harm to the public. The monkey is described as a guenon, an African monkey with bold colors on its fur. “This could take days, so we appreciate your cooperation,” the zoo said.
* Ah, the old “turn the doorknob” trick.
* Dizzy? It should be called Smarty.
* They temporarily closed the zoo? Did they think the escape would give the other animals ideas?
* The hippo was thinking, “I want to try this, but I’m going to have trouble with that doorknob.”
* Why do they always say nothing like this has ever happened before? Is that supposed to make it better or something?
* We’ve seen plenty of stories where zoo animals escape. What they mean is “It’s never happened before to us with this particular monkey.”
* Hey, Dizzy saw what they did to that gorilla in Cincinnati. Of course it tried to escape.
* Dizzy poses no harm to the public? Oh sure, they always say something like that, too.
* Apparently, nobody at the zoo ever saw the “Outbreak” movie.
* Do you suppose after they catch it, they’ll spank the monkey?
* I wonder if they’ll use a Taser? Speaking of which, now here’s Peter Gabriel with “Shock the Monkey.”