FRIDAY, May 9 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, May 9, 2025
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing – including “holidays” created by the National Day Calendar and Wellcat websites to drive traffic to their websites – or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year. We present only those specially designated days we feel your listeners would find most interesting or significant.)

CHILD CARE PROVIDER DAY (Friday before Mother’s Day)

MILITARY SPOUSE APPRECIATION DAY (Friday before Mother’s Day)

MOSCATO DAY
The Days Of The Year website says this:
“Moscato is a wine originating from the Piedmont region of north-west Italy and the beverage has become a popular choice due to its sweetness, lightness and affordability. Moscato’s popularity among hip-hop artists like Nelly and Drake created hype as well as soaring sales, so in celebration of both new and old fans of the wine, Gallo Family Vineyards introduced Moscato Day in 2012.”

NATIONAL BUTTERSCOTCH BROWNIE DAY

May is:

Chip Your Pet Month / Pet Month
Date Your Mate Month
International Civility Awareness Month
National Barbecue Month
National Bike Month
National Egg Month
National Hamburger Month
National Military Appreciation Month
National Salad Month
National Salsa Month
Older Americans Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

AUDIO: VIDEO GAME HALL OF FAME INDUCTS FOUR GAMES

The World Video Game Hall of Fame has four new inductees. Each year, the Hall of Fame recognizes arcade, console, computer, handheld, and mobile games that have had staying power and influenced the video game industry or pop culture. Here are this year’s four inductees:
– Defender, the 1981 arcade game that raised the bar on difficulty.
– Tamagotchi, the digital pets that bridged toys and video games.
– GoldenEye 007, whose four-person mode influenced multiplayer games that followed.
– Quake, which debuted in 1996 with a 3D engine that became the new standard for the industry.
The nominiees that did not make it into the Hall this year were Age of Empires, Angry Birds, Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, Frogger, Golden Tee, Harvest Moon, Mattel Football, and NBA 2K.
* I’m sorry, what were you saying? I was playing Call of Duty Mobile on my phone.
* Great. A reason for the Angry Birds to get even more angry.
* Winner gets a trophy and a roll of quarters.
* That’s cute that their little hall of fame has four new members … while Minecraft closes in on a billion at the box office.
* The actual award is a trophy of a little metal guy sitting in his mother’s basement.
CLIP: Sounds of the Defender arcade game
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)com/prep/wp-content/uploads/DefenderGameSounds(dot)mp3
CLIP: Sounds of Tamagotchi.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)com/prep/wp-content/uploads/TamagotchiSounds(dot)mp3

THE BUZZ

I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY HAVEN’T INVENTED THIS YET

Reddit asked, “What is something you can’t believe hasn’t been invented yet?” Some of the responses:
– “Button on TV to find the remote.”
– “Tick killing pill for humans, just like a dog pill, but for humans.”
– “I can’t believe that it’s 2025 and printers are still as crappy as ever.”
– “A wholly biodegradable conveyance for perishable items. For example: If a dozen strawberries are going to go bad in 5 days, why are they sold in a container that will remain on Earth for 500 years?”
– “I’d like to be able to refill my items like dish detergent, laundry, shampoos. These items come in big plastic containers imagine how many go into landfills.”
– “Auto-mute for commercials.” (* Yes!!! Wait – for TV only, not radio!)
– “A perfectly sunlight-readable phone screen.”
– “A microwave that makes things cold fast instead of hot.”
– “Red lights on empty intersections. Where the heck are the AI traffic lights?”
– “Resealable cereal bags.”
– “Better containers for bacon.”
– “A butter dish that keeps the butter at the right temperature to be spreadable and soft, but not hot enough to start melting.”
– “Quiet range hood fans.”
– “A breathalyzer on phones to stop drunk texting.”
– “A working McDonald’s ice cream machine.”
* PHONE TOPIC: What do you thunk needs to be invented?

U.S. NEWS

TEACHER SMEARS PB&J ON HERSELF TO TEACH A LESSON

In a viral TikTok video, an elementary school teacher named Kayleigh Sloan, who teaches a creative writing class to first and second-graders, asked the kids to write about how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She then showed them why it was important to write clearly, so she started making sandwiches according to the instructions they wrote. She read to the class, “Spread jelly and jam on the bread,” so she dunked her hand in the jelly jar before smearing it on the packaged bread. Ms. Sloan read another assignment that told her to “Put on peanut butter…” and she smeared it all over her arms. “All I did was exactly what you told me to do,” she told her class. “Understand why you have to have detail — did anybody ever mention a plate or a knife? She says she does this lesson every year because the kids will remember it.
* Then the yellowjackets attacked.
* My elementary schoolteacher smearing peanut butter on herself. Miss Towsner (or whoever your hot teacher was), I’ve had dreams of that.
* I hear they do a similar thing in medical school on cadaver day. Loads of laughs.
* I wish she’d teach a class to the people who write the IKEA assembly instructions.
* Well now I’m hungry, and I want recess.

AUDIO: CONSPIRACY THEORISTS BELIEVE DOPPLER WEATHER STATIONS ACTUALLY CAUSE BAD WEATHER, NOT SPOT IT

Most conspiracy theories are the kind you can just blow off as being too stupid for anyone to believe. But one group has come up with something beyond stupid. Veterans on Patrol, an “anti-everything” organization founded in 2015, has put out a hit on National Weather Service Doppler radar stations, called NEXRAD sites. Their belief is that these weather stations don’t predict tornadoes and severe thunderstorms – they CAUSE them. They believe the stations are actually “weather weapons.” And now, according to the National Weather Service, the group is starting to conduct “penetration drills on NEXRAD sites to identify weaknesses which can be used to ultimately destroy the sites.” They’ve put out a memo asking workers to keep an eye out for suspicious activity. For the record, NEXRAD systems have been in place since the 1990s, and are key to predicting tornadoes and thunderstorms.
* This is like saying umbrellas cause it to rain more. This is like saying air freshener spray causes farts.
* Although I can make it rain just by washing my car – it ALWAYS happens! – so go figure.
* Science must have been an elective at their schools.
* Maybe change NEXRAD to something more survivalist-friendly, like PATRIOT-SCAN.
CLIP: Actually, these Doppler weather stations are getting extremely precise: our classic “Doppler Etcetera” parody spot.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)com/prep/wp-content/uploads/DopplerEtcetera-Weather(dot)mp3

AMERICA’S SHRINKING— ER, SINKING CITIES

According to a new study from the Lamont-Doherty Earth Observatory, published May 8 in the British journal Nature Cities, some American cities are sinking. It’s called “subsidence” and it’s usually caused by draining the underlying water table or pumping oil and gas out of the ground. The problem with subsidence is, when land shifts downward, even just a little bit, the structural integrity of buildings, roads, bridges, and dams can be profoundly impacted. Residents will see cracks in walls, foundations, uneven or sloping floors; doors and windows no longer closing properly, roads warping or buckling, there are tilting fences or utility poles, fire hydrants sticking out more than they once did. (* Human sacrifice. Cats & dogs living together. Mass hysteria.) Anyway, according to the study, here are America’s sinking cities:
– The fastest sinking city is Houston, with more than 40% of its area dropping more than 1/5 inch. Some localized spots in Houston are going down as much as 2 inches per year, according to the study.
– Two other Texas cities, Fort Worth and Dallas, are not far behind Houston on the sinking scale.
– Sinking a little less fast are Chicago, New York, Seattle, San Diego, Denver, San Antonio, Oklahoma City, Indianapolis, Nashville, Charlotte, Detroit, Columbus and Washington DC
– However, three cities – San Jose, Memphis, and Jacksonville – have green dots, indicating “uplift.”
* Well, there’s another thing to throw on the climate news pile. We’ll get to it right after we bring back the honeybees to a sustainable level.
* What’s the problem? When things start sinking you inject filler – just like with people.
* You know, I have felt shorter lately.
* What a downer!

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

EASTERN STAR WARS: EPISODE IV – A NEW POPE

Well, white smoke came out of the chimney signaling that there was a new pope, and then blue smoke came out announcing that the gender was male. American Cardinal Robert Francis Prevost was elected pope on Thursday. He is the first American pontiff in history. (* And it’s a butt-load of history!) He will be known as Pope Leo DiCaprio the 14th. In his first remarks as pope from the balcony of St. Peter’s Basilica, he shockingly veered from hundreds of years of papal tradition… and called for peace. Prevost, a 69-year-old from Chicago, is described as a leader with global experience. He spent much of his career as a missionary in South America and served as bishop in Peru. (* Aw, Paddington!) He most recently led a powerful Vatican office for bishop appointments. (* Ah, so he knows the secrets.) He is expected to build on Pope Francis’ reforms. One Vatican analyst said Prevost is seen as “somebody who is calm and balanced, who is even-handed, and who is very clear on what he thinks needs to be done… but he’s not overly forceful in trying to make that happen.”
* Sounds like he should have called himself Pope Passive-Aggressive the First.
* What I’m hearing is, still no chance for female priests, so we can just move on.
* Well that election was quick. Guess everyone wanted to get out and tour Italy before the Memorial Day crowds.
* Why can’t we elect a president like that? Two days and done. None for this three-year campaign crap.
CLIP: Our “We Have Pontiff” song you can play underneath this story.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)com/prep/wp-content/uploads/03-13-WeHavePontiff(dot)mp3

LADIES & GENTLEMEN… BOB POPE!

(Hey, we’re not sure what, if anything, you can do with this. Does anybody remember Bob Hope? Does your audience? Can you do even a passing Bob Hope imitation? If so, this is for you!)

The set up: The new Pope’s name is Robert Prevost. His friends call him Bob. He’s now the Pope. So, ladies and gentlemen… Bob Pope!
(Maybe play a YouTube instrumental version of “Thanks for the Memories” under)
– Hi, everybody, this is Bob Pope, coming to you live from the Vatican. You know what Vatican is – that’s a Latin word that means “World’s Largest Piggy Bank”.
– Boy, this place makes Rodeo Drive look like Skid Row.
– But I wanna tell ya… They’ve got me in a room so big, Bing Crosby could walk through the door without having to tuck in his ears.
– You know, not only am I head of the Catholic Church, but they made me captain of the Vatican baseball team. It’s the only team where nobody has ever made it to second base.
– And how about those Swiss Guard uniforms? That’s what they get for taking fashion advice from Lady Gaga,
– I don’t wanna say the last pope was old, but George Burns called him Pops. But I wanna tell ya…
– Now, here’s Joey Heatherton!

TRENDING

CMA AWARDS WINNERS LIST

Entertainer of the Year: Lainey Wilson
Female Artist of the Year: Lainey Wilson
Male Artist of the Year: Chris Stapleton
Duo of the Year: Brooks & Dunn
Group of the Year: The Red Clay Strays
New Female Artist: Ela Langley
New Male Artist: Zach Top
New Duo of the Year: The Red Clay Strays
Single of the Year: You look like you love me – Ella Langley, Riley Green
Song of the Year: Dirt Cheap – Cody Johnson
Album of the Year: Whirlwind – Lainey Wilson

JENNIFER ANISTON’S STALKER SHOWS UP IN COURT SHIRTLESS

Jennifer Aniston’s alleged stalker made a bizarre shirtless appearance in court Thursday, days after he was arrested for crashing into the front gates of the star’s $21m mansion while she was inside. Jimmy Wayne Carwyle, 48, smiled as he appeared behind glass in a custody area of a Los Angeles courtroom on Thursday, while wrapped in an anti-suicide blanket, to face felony stalking and vandalism charges. Carwyle is also accused of sending Aniston ‘unwanted social media, voicemail, and email messages’ starting in March 2023, with the last message sent on the same day of the crash, according to the district attorney’s office. Carwyle did not enter a plea, or speak at all during the arraignment hearing, but intently stared at the courtroom and placed his hands on the glass during the hearing.

METALLICA CAUSES AN EARTHQUAKE

Metallica was playing at Virginia Tech’s Lane Stadium. The opening chords of “Enter Sandman” ignited a synchronized crowd surge of jumping and cheering, so much so that the Virginia Tech Seismological Observatory recorded ground tremors. The Observatory confirmed that their seismograph, situated approximately 1 mile from Lane Stadium, clearly registered the ground motion produced by the audience, although it was too minor to register on the Richter scale.

THE WHO, ONCE AGAIN, SAYS “LAST TOUR”

Legendary rock band The Who announced their final tour of North America on Thursday, saying after six decades of making music, all good things must come to end. Pete Townshend, 79, along with singer Roger Daltry, 81, the other surviving member of the original lineup, said: “Roger and I are in a good place, despite our age, eager to throw our weight behind this fond farewell to all our faithful fans.” He said he hoped some new fans might jump in to see what they have been missing for the last 57 years. They are playing 16 dates in North America. (* This would be the 43rd last tour of The Who.)

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

May 11, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 26, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Saturday – Flag Day
June 15, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 20, Friday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 10:42 P.M. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Rosario Dawson (actress, “Ahsoka,” plays Claire Temple in various Marvel TV shows, “Jane the Virgin”) … 46
Tom Petersson (bass player with Cheap Trick) … 75
Billy Joel (singer/songwriter) … 76
Candice Bergen (actress, “Murphy Brown”) … 79
James L. Brooks (director, producer, major force behind “The Simpsons”) … 88

Today’s Birthdays grade: An iconic singer/songwriter, a guy who helped bring us “The Simpsons,” an actress from a 80s-90s touchstone TV series, a bass player from a band you might have heard of, and … Aksoka! The Simpsons alone – having made $5 billion – puts us over the top. Grade: A.

[Want to try something different with the daily birthdays? Try grading them! Some days have “good” celebs, some have “great” celebs, some have “lousy” celebs. For fun, give the group an arbitrary grade: A-plus through F-minus. Sidekick will give you our take on it; you can to take the concept and run with it.]

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I realized when I was just a little boy, when I played the piano, little girls would come over and listen. And I thought, ‘Hmm – this might come in handy in the future.'”

(A) Elton John
(B) Beethoven
(C) Billy Joel

ANSWER: (C) Billy Joel

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2022 – An Andy Warhol portrait of Marilyn Monroe sold for $195 million at auction in New York – the highest price to date for an American artwork.

2019 – 46 million new Australian $50 bank notes were released with the word responsibility misspelled as “responsibilty.
* I wonder who was responsabull?

1994 – Nelson Mandela was chosen to be South Africa’s first black president.
* Dang! Beat us by 14 years!

1962 – A laser beam was successfully bounced off the Moon for the first time.
* I wouldn’t brag. How could they miss?

1961 – In a speech to the National Association of Broadcasters, FCC Chairman Newton Minnow condemned television programming as a “vast wasteland.”
* Oh, he had NO IDEA.

1960 – The FDA approved the Birth Control Pill, setting the stage for the unbridled promiscuity of the 1960s’ “Sexual Revolution.”
* So THAT’S why all the aging Baby Boomers look so smug.

1944 – The world’s first Eye-Bank opened in New York.
* It was set up by people with a great vision.

1899 – The push lawn mower was patented.
* It was a goat on a skateboard.

1785 – British inventor Joseph Bramah patented the beer-pump handle.
* An important invention, the beer-pump handle allowed people to drink beer long past the point where they could hold the keg over their head to drink from it.

1754 – The first newspaper cartoon in America ran. A jab at the government’s pressure on territories to join the Union, it featured a divided snake with the words “Join or Die.”
* A motto later adopted by ISIS.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2023 – George Harrison’s “Here Comes The Sun” became the 1st Beatles song – and the oldest song – to register a billion streams on Spotify.

2013 – David Bowie’s video for “The Next Day,” starring Gary Oldman and Marion Cotillard, was pulled from YouTube over its graphic content. YouTube later admitted making the “wrong call” in removing the video, and reinstated it with an adult content warning.

2005 – Country singer Kenny Chesney married actress Renee Zellweger in the Caribbean.

1992 – Bruce Springsteen made his North American network television debut on Saturday Night Live with host Tom Hanks.

1988 – Prince’s 10th album, “Lovesexy,” was released, which some stores refused to sell due to the nude portrait on the cover.

1974 – Bruce Springsteen played at Boston’s Harvard Square Theater, inspiring Rolling Stone critic John Landau to write “I have seen rock & roll’s future and his name is Bruce Springsteen.”

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. According to surveys, nearly half of us have a favorite one of THESE. What is it?
A pen

2. Most households have too many of THESE, but have a hard time getting rid of them. What are they?
Coat hangers

3. 22% of people have never had one of THESE. What is it?
A cavity

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