FRIDAY, May 3 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION
MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, May 3, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)
GARDEN MEDITATION DAY
NATIONAL PARANORMAL DAY
NATIONAL PUBLIC RADIO DAY
NATIONAL RASPBERRY POPOVER DAY
WORLD PRESS FREEDOM DAY
May is:
Chip Your Pet Month / Pet Month
Date Your Mate Month
International Civility Awareness Month
National Barbeque Month
National Bike Month
National Egg Month
National Hamburger Month
National Military Appreciation Month
National Salad Month
National Salsa Month
Older Americans Month
THE BUZZPEOPLE LIKE A GOOD-SMELLING HOUSE
A new survey of 2,000 adults from Air Wick, the, uh, air wick company, finds that 43 percent of Americans say one of the best home compliments they can receive is “Your home smells so good!” Other home-related compliments people would love to receive include hearing that their space “has a good vibe” and that “it looks clean.” The things that people most want their home to smell like:
– fresh flowers
– strawberries and bananas
– after the rain
– bread baking
– fresh laundry
– ocean breeze
– lavender
– vanilla
– lemon or citrus
* Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the 2025 lineup of Air Wick scents.
* I’d settle for “anything but cats.”
* I can’t do “bread baking” but I can do “scrambled eggs burning.”
* “It looks clean.” Talk about setting the bar low.
U.S. NEWS
GRANDMA SHOOTS INTRUDER WHILE WATCHING TAYLOR SWIFT MOVIE WITH GRANDDAUGHTER
Anissa Tinnin of Albuquerque, New Mexico, says she and her 4-year-old granddaughter were watching the Taylor Swift “Eras” tour film when an intruder suddenly appeared in the dining room of her home. The intruder was fleeing police after crashing a stolen vehicle. He left the home, but then came back inside. Grandma grabbed her gun and shot the suspect when he re-entered her home. She is not facing any charges but the intruder survived and will be charged with burglary and auto theft.
* And interrupting Taylor Swift, that’s a Class 3 felony at least, right?
* What song was Taylor on? “Look What You Made Me Do”? “I Knew You Were Trouble”? “Bad Blood”?
* The suspect said, “What are you watching?” Grandma said, “The Taylor Swift concert.” And the suspect said, “Give me the gun. I’ll shoot myself.”
* More Grandmas are arming themselves ever since that one got run over by a reindeer.
* This would be a good teaching moment to show the granddaughter how deadbolts work.
SCHOOL SUPERINTENDENT: YOU DIDN’T CLAP LOUD ENOUGH FOR MY DAUGHTER
A California school district fired its superintendent Tuesday because she threatened students for not clapping loud enough for her daughter. The daughter of Superintendent Marian Phelps is on the Del Norte High School softball team. After a softball awards banquet last May, students say Phelps called and texted some of them late that night accusing them of not clapping for her daughter at the ceremony. Phelps then threatened to revoke their graduation privileges if they didn’t apologize to her daughter. The team’s coach Tom Peronto also told the school board that, after he made the those threats to the students public, Phelps threatened to fire him under false pretenses. After hearing from 41 witnesses that contradicted Phelps’ version of events, the school board voted to terminate her contract.
* You don’t appreciate my daughter playing softball, I play hardball with you.
* I can see this as a miniseries starring Nicole Kidman.
* “Ms. Phelps, I’ll be happy to clap louder if you can do something about my C- in algebra.”
* How bad was the audience reaction on a scale of 1 to Jo Koy hosting the Golden Globes?
* She’ll now have plenty of time to help her daughter work on her softball skills.
AUDIO: OZEMPIC SIDE EFFECTS: OZEMPIC BREASTS
The hot new diet drug Ozempic has already been linked to a host of bodily changes, including sagging skin and sunken-in cheeks. Now women are reporting a new side effect called ‘Ozempic breasts’ – when their boobs either shrink or balloon in size. Doctors say the sagging is to be expected because as someone loses weight, fat tissue in the breasts also diminish, making them smaller in size. But the ballooning is more surprising. One line of thinking is that hormonal fluctuations in the body cause temporary breast swelling or tenderness. Another theory is that, as people become skinnier, their breasts simply appear bigger. Still, dozens of women have been left feeling either disappointed or pleasantly surprised.
* Some men, too, I bet.
* Say ta-ta to the tatas.
* The mammaries and now minimumeries.
* The makers of Ozempic released a statement saying, “Who knew?”
* This is gonna sound crazy, but what if we studied drugs for side effects before we sold them to everybody?
* It’s like Boeing planes. You just keep waiting for the next headline.
CLIP: Our new “Uh-Oh-No Ozempic” jingle
FANCY FISKER SUV TOTALED OVER SMALL DOOR DING
Do you like expensive new cars? Here’s a cautionary tale. A woman named Joy Wanner bought a car from a new car electric car company, Fisker. She got a Fisker Ocean electric SUV. Shortly thereafter, someone dinged her car door while it was parked. Hoping to keep her car looking factory fresh, Wanner took the ding to her insurer adjuster for a quote to fix the dent. He discovered that a door hinge had also become bent and needed replacing. The adjuster estimated that it would cost $910 to fix, but he also admitted that he was unfamiliar with the vehicle and it might cost more. Then it came down that the Fisker company didn’t have any replacement parts – no hinges, no panels. Without the hinge, the car door wouldn’t close, and if the door doesn’t close, the car is undriveable. 30 days after the accident, the insurance company said the car was totaled, and cut her a check for $53,303. Said Wanner about the Fisker car company, “Getting any answers or help from them is impossible.” She added that the car had an unreliable navigation system, a “cheaply” made key fob and at one point she was even trapped inside the car. Wanner used the money to replace her Fisker with a Tesla Model Y.
* So we’ll be hearing from Joy Wanner again in a couple weeks, I guess.
* Boy, you can’t buy advertising like that.
* “The Fisker Ocean – It’s a Sea of Trouble!”
* No replacement parts? So … if the cars aren’t made of individual parts, how do they make them? One run of a 3D printer?
* Fisker is one fusked up car company.
ANOTHER NUDE CRUISE STORY
Do you like being naked, and seasick? Here’s your chance. “The Big Nude Boat” will take travelers from Miami to the Caribbean on “an 11-day adventure back to Bare-adise,” the Bare Necessities Tour and Travel website says. Setting sail from Feb. 3 through Valentine’s Day 2025, the trip offers a “stress-free, clothes-free experience” during which up to 2,300 passengers can roam the ship in the nude while out at sea. “It’s our pleasure to provide you with the luxury of deciding what NOT to wear,” they say. And while the self-serve buffet on the pool deck is a clothes-free area, passengers must be dressed for all dining room meals – and no, bathrobes don’t count.
* Alright, nude cruisers, you’ve got ten months to drop the weight.
* Have you ever seen the people on a cruise ship? That’s why it’s called the BIG Nude Boat.
* “Hey! Those are NOT flotation devices!”
* Be sure to check out the in-the-raw oyster bar.
* It’s a lot like a regular cruise, except the sunblock is $50 a tube.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
INMATE SWALLOWED CELLPHONE DURING CHECK
A 38-year-old murder convict serving life imprisonment in the Shivamogga prison in Karnataka, India, started complaining of stomach pain. Authorities took him to a hospital where an ultrasound discovered a foreign object in the man’s stomach. Last Thursday, they surgically removed the object. It was a phone, a very small Chinese mobile phone stuck in his pylorus, which is the end part of the stomach and the beginning of the small intestine. The inmate had carried it in his stomach for 20 days. He had swallowed it to avoid discovery during a routine cell check.
* He did note that it actually tasted like an Apple.
* Maybe he was waiting for the phone to answer nature’s call.
* The phone was on vibrate, and every time someone called it tickled.
* When asked about operating to remove the phone, the surgeon said it was his calling.
* I sometimes have to surgically remove the phone from my kid, but not like this.
TRENDING
BRITNEY SPEARS NEARS DIVORCE
Britney Spears has reached an agreement with her soon-to-be-ex-husband. Spears and Sam Asghari submitted an agreement for dividing up their assets to a judge for approval, according to documents filed in a Los Angeles court on Thursday, nine months after they separated. The filings gave few details but said neither Spears nor Asghari will get future spousal support.
BURT REYNOLDS GOT A CRUSH ON RYAN GOSLING’S MOM
During an appearance on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” the other night, Ryan Gosling recalled working with Burt Reynolds on 1996′s “Frankenstein and Me.” It was Gosling’s first movie. He thought it was cool that Burt Reynolds was spending a little extra time with him. “I thought he thought there was something special about me. And then I realized that I have a really beautiful mom.” Gosling thinks Burt Reynolds was crushing on his mom. “I was getting like a secondary shine. The real shine was for my mom.” He added that his mom “loved it.” Kimmel pointed out that if they had gotten married, “You could have been Ryan Reynolds.”
BLAKE SHELTON RECORDED SONG FOR “THE FALL GUY”
Blake Shelton has recorded a song for Ryan Gosling’s new movie The Fall Guy. It’s a remake of a 1980’s song called “Unknown Stuntman.” It will be a part of the music in the closing credits. The song was the theme song for the 1980’s television series also called The Fall Guy, starring Lee Majors and Heather Thomas.
MAYA RUDOLPH, JAKE GYLLENHAAL TO HOST SEASON’S FINAL SNL SHOWS
Maya Rudolph and Jake Gyllenhaal will be hosting the last two shows of Saturday Night Live’s 49th season. Rudolph, an actress and comedian who starred on SNL from 2000 to 2007, will host the May 11 episode. Vampire Weekend will perform as the musical guest. Gyllenhaal will host May 18, with Sabrina Carpenter as the musical guest.
WHY CHER DATES YOUNGER MEN
Cher, now 77, is dating 38-year-old music exec Alexander “AE” Edwards, and she explained her preference for younger men. “I’m really shy when I’m not working and kind of shy around men,” she said, “and the reason I go out with young men is because men my age or older … were always terrified to approach me.” Younger men seemed to have no such problem because they were “raised by women like me,” she said.
ALMANAC
NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES
May 12, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 27, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Friday – Flag Day
June 16, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 20, Thursday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 4:50 P.M. EST)
BIRTHDAYS
Cheryl Burke (dancer, “Dancing with the Stars”) … 40
Eric Church (country singer) … 47
Dule Hill (actor, “Ballers”, “Psych”, “The West Wing”) … 49
Christina Hendricks (actress, “Good Girls”, “Mad Men”) … 49
Shane Minor (country singer) … 56
Christopher Cross (singer, “Sailing”) … 73
Frankie Valli (singer) … 90
BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!
“I feel like I’m still a work in progress. … I think I now understand everything that’s happened to me in the past. I think now it’s time for me to continue and grow.”
(A) Donald Trump
(B) Clint Eastwood
(C) Cheryl Burke
ANSWER: (C) Cheryl Burke
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
2018 – Kilauea volcano on Big Island, Hawaii began erupting, forcing the evacuation of Hawaii Volcanoes National Park and residential areas.
* “Tonight’s special: Roasted pineapple.”
2005 – Iraq’s first democratically elected government was sworn in.
* They’ll get the hang of it one of these decades.
2003 – New Hampshire’s symbol, the granite Old Man of the Mountain, collapsed in the state’s Franconia Mountains.
* He’s fallen and he can’t get up.
1988 – The White House acknowledged that first lady Nancy Reagan had used astrological advice to help schedule her husband’s activities.
* Imagine the scary stuff we NEVER found out about.
1952 – The first landing by an airplane was made at the geographic North Pole.
* That’s one way to make sure Santa gets your list.
1927 – Advertising innovation “the electric sign flasher” was patented.
* I’m guessing a new thing called the “traffic accident” increased at night shortly thereafter.
1494 – Christopher Columbus first spotted Jamaica.
* Later they stopped off and had a really groovy, jammin’ time.
THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY
2017 – The Eagles filed a lawsuit against a hotel in Mexico that called itself the Hotel California, after the band’s hit song and album. The rock band claimed the 11-room hotel, in Todos Santos, “actively encourages” guests to believe it is associated with them in order to sell merchandise. They further claimed the hotel played Eagles songs in the lobby and sold t-shirts describing the venue as “legendary.” The lawsuit was dropped after an undisclosed settlement was reached in January of 2018.
2013 – The Palmetto Playground in Brooklyn was renamed after Beastie Boys’ rapper Adam Yauch.
2008 – Mariah Carey was at No.1 on the US album chart with her eleventh studio album “E=MC?”
2004 – The U.S. Supreme Court rejected an appeal by two musicians who claimed they were owed royalties from Ozzy Osbourne. Bassist Robert Daisley and drummer Lee Kerslake had fought a long-running battle since 1997 with the Osbourne family claiming they were entitled to money from the albums “Blizzard of Ozz” and “Diary of a Madman.” Sharon Osbourne, Ozzy’s wife and manager, said that the pair had “harassed” her family and had had their contributions removed from the albums because of their “abusive and unjust behavior.”
1997 – The Notorious B.I.G. started a three-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with his posthumous hit “Hypnotize.”
1986 – “Dollywood,” Dolly Parton’s theme park, opened in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee.
1986 – Robert Palmer went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Addicted To Love.” Palmer originally recorded the song as a duet with Chaka Khan but due to contractual problems her voice was removed.
1980 – Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band started a six-week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Against The Wind.”
1976 – Paul McCartney made his first concert appearance in America in almost ten years when Wings kicked off their “Wings Over America” tour in Fort Worth, Texas.
X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!
1. A survey found that the items most involved in accidents are: bikes, stairs, and THESE. What are they?
Footballs
2. Nearly 30,000 people are injured each year by THIS household item. What is it?
A refrigerator
3. According to USA Today, the #1 accident in the home is burns. THIS is #2. What is it?
Falling out of bed and hurting yourself
(c) 2024
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