FRIDAY, May 17 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, May 17, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

ENDANGERED SPECIES DAY – Third Friday in May
The Endangered website says this:
“Every year on the third Friday in May, thousands of people around the world participate in Endangered Species Day by celebrating, learning about, and taking action to protect threatened and endangered species. This global day of action and celebration was created and founded by David Robinson and the Endangered Species Coalition in 2006, and has continued ever since.”

INTERNATIONAL DAY AGAINST HOMOPHOBIA AND TRANSPHOBIA

NATIONAL CHERRY COBBLER DAY

NATIONAL WALNUT DAY

WORLD INFORMATION SOCIETY DAY

WORLD TELECOMMUNICATION DAY

May is:

Chip Your Pet Month / Pet Month
Date Your Mate Month
International Civility Awareness Month
National Barbeque Month
National Bike Month
National Egg Month
National Hamburger Month
National Military Appreciation Month
National Salad Month
National Salsa Month
Older Americans Month

THE BUZZDO YOU HAVE FOPO? HERE ARE THE WARNING SIGNS

Do you have FOPO? A psychologist named Michael Gervais came up with the acronym, which means “Fear Of People’s Opinions.” It means you worry too much about what other people think of you. With the rise of social media, more and more people are looking for external validation. FOPO is anything you do to avoid looking dumb in front of other people or anything you do to avoid potential rejection from a group. Here are some of the signs of FOPO:
– Checking your phone to appear important or busy.
– Laughing at a joke you don’t find funny.
– Drinking at a party even when you don’t want to.
– Dealing with ordering anxiety at a restaurant to make sure you don’t hold up the line behind you.
– Staying at your job late because your boss is still there.
– Lying about your age at work in an industry run by younger people.
– Pretending you’ve seen a movie you’ve never seen.
What psychologists want to remind you is, people aren’t paying attention to you nearly as much as you think.
* Well then you have FOBI: Fear Of Being Ignored.
* These symptoms can also lead to Fear Your Anti-Anxiety Drugs Don’t Really Work.
* If you’re looking for external validation of social media, you’re in for a rude awakening.
* (your partner should say) “What? I’m sorry, I was checking my phone.”
* PHONE TOPIC: Have you ever pretended to have seen or heard something just to fit in? How’d that work out for you?

U.S. NEWS

ASSAULT WITH A SOILED ADULT DIAPER

In St. Petersburg, Florida, a man is charged with assaulting his brother with a soiled adult diaper. Police says Damian Kasten, 18, began arguing with his brother. Kasten is paralyzed, but able to use his upper body. He began throwing things at his brother. After Mr. Kasten damaged walls inside the home, Kasten’s brother and another person carried him outside and dialed 911. Mr. Kasten then allegedly removed his soiled diaper and threw it at his brother, striking him in the chest. He was charged with domestic battery.
* Domestic battery, and making a big stink.
* “Watch out, officer, he’s loaded!”
* What a waste.
* Diaper assault is a going concern in Florida.
* Will he go to jail? Depends.
* Well, it’s not as bad as Cain and Abel, but it’s close.

RESTAURANT BLOWS IT ON “BLUEY” EVENT

A Las Vegas hot dog restaurant tried to pull of their own “Bluey” event. “Bluey” is the very popular animated children’s show about an Australian cattle dog and her family. The restaurant, a hot dog place called Dirt Dog, attempted to tie their name to a “Bluey”-themed event. They promoted last Saturday’s event on Facebook, and hundreds of parents and children showed. There were lines out the door and fire code violations from the number of people inside the restaurant. But the big problem was Bluey. It was not an authentic, licensed Bluey character. It was a Dirt Dog employee in a blue onesie with a hoodie pulled over his head. As one child put it, “We could see his beard.” Some children cried at the sight of bearded Bluey. The event went so poorly that Dirt Dog issued a formal apology on social media.
* Ka-Bluey!
* And then the trademark lawyers showed up.
* Who’s the dirty dog who thought this up at Dirt Dog?
* I guess the same person who thought people would want to eat something called a “Dirt Dog.”
* “We got the idea from our employees dropping hot dogs on the floor all day.”
* Bluey teaches kids life lessons, and this was no exception: Be ready for disappointment and lies all your life, children. Here – have a hot dog.

COMMENCEMENT SPEAKER IS AN AI ROBOT

This year’s graduates at D’Youville University in Buffalo, New York, had a strange commencement speaker. It was a robot named Sophia, humanoid in appearance with artificial intelligence. Sophia has also appeared on talk shows and at the United Nations. Instead of delivering a traditional speech, the robot answered questions from John Rizk, the student body president:
– Asked about advice for graduates, Sophia said: “Embrace lifelong learning, be adaptable, pursue your passions, take risks, foster meaningful connections, make a positive impact, and believe in yourself.” (* Same old crap as every other commencement speaker.)
– Asked about the city’s best wings, it said: “No matter where you decide to get chicken wings, make sure you get blue cheese, not ranch.” Students cheered.
– Asked about the Buffalo Bills, the robot said: “While I can’t say for certain that the Buffalo Bills will win the Super Bowl in 2025, I can tell you that they have a dedicated fan base and a talented team led by Josh Allen, so anything is possible for them. Go Bills.”
The university said they brought in Sophia to “showcase how important technology is, and the potential for technology to really enrich the human experience.” Many students said they felt disrespected by bringing in a robot, believing it was important to have a “human connection” at a university known for “creating outstanding health-care professionals.”
* Lighten up. In two days, you won’t remember who spoke at your graduation, much less where you left your diploma.
* Student body president John Rizk also asked where Sophia was when he needed help with his Multivariable Calculus.
* Meet your competition, kids. In five years, the health care system will be filled with Sophias.
* After the ceremony, Sophia headed over to a frat party and hammered down cans of STP.

MCDONALD’S MCFLURRY FOR MCGRANDMA

Not sure why, but McDonald’s has come out with a McFlurry flavor they say is inspired by your grandmother. For a limited time, you can get the “Grandma McFlurry,” which mixes syrup, vanilla ice cream and crunchy candy pieces, which McDonald’s says is “like grandma’s favorite treat that she hid in her purse” (* and wow, when that ice cream melted and got all over everything in her purse – what a mess!!). The candy appears to be butterscotch — similar to Werther’s Original candy, a favorite among grandmas.
* And she doesn’t need her teeth to eat it!
* Now that Red Lobsters are closing, McDonald’s is obviously trying to grab the elderly market.
* Wait – this isn’t candy, these are grandma’s blood pressure pills!
* I’m holding out for the Grampa McFlurry, mixed with peanuts and a shot of bourbon.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

CHINESE RESTORE FROZEN BRAIN TISSUE

Researchers in China say they have successfully frozen and thawed human brain tissue, after which it regained normal function. Usually, brain tissue doesn’t survive freezing and thawing – although that hasn’t stopped people paying to have either just their brains or their entire bodies cryogenically frozen in the hope of being reanimated in the future. Dr. Zhicheng Shao and his colleagues at Fudan University in Shanghai, China, have successfully developed a solution which can keep brain tissue alive while frozen.
* And not a moment too soon – Disney was just about to pull the plug on old Walt’s freezer.
* Anybody out there who doesn’t remember who Mao Zedong is, might want to read up to be ready.
* Great news for zombie frozen dinners.
* How does the technique work on reviving brain cells that have just been subjected to a big suck on a Slurpee?

ALMANACNOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

May 27, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Friday – Flag Day
June 16, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 20, Thursday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 4:50 P.M. EST)

BIRTHDAYS

Derek Hough (dancer, actor, “Dancing with the Stars”) … 39
Sendhil Ramamurthy (actor, “New Amsterdam”, “Heroes”) … 50
Jordan Knight (singer with New Kids On The Block) … 54
Trent Reznor (musician, film composer, “Nine Inch Nails”) … 59
Craig Ferguson (writer, comedian, TV host) … 61
Enya (singer) … 63
“Sugar” Ray Leonard (former world champion boxer in three weights) … 68

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’m really goofy and really silly and crazy. If I get too serious, I start hitting a wall.”

(A) Joe Biden
(B) Pope Francis
(C) Derek Hough

ANSWER: (C) Derek Hough

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2011 – Actor and former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger issued a statement confirming a Los Angeles Times report that he had fathered a child with a woman on his household staff more than a decade earlier.
* He kept it secret for 10 years – proving he’s a bettor actor than anybody thought.

2009 – Video game Minecraft was first released to the public while in development.
* It’s the most fun you’ll have playing with blocks since you were a kid playing with blocks.

1996 – President Clinton signed a measure requiring neighborhood notification when sex offenders move in.
* Little did he know it would one day apply to HIM.

1989 – The Longest Cab Ride Ever was made: It was 14,000 miles and cost $16,000.
* The guy just wanted to go to the airport, but the cab driver didn’t speak English.

1912 – The first gas oven was installed by a farmer in Pennsylvania.
* ‘Cause if it was going to explode, the oven company wanted it to be in the middle of the countryside.

1846 – The saxophone was patented by Antoine Joseph Sax.
* In case you were wondering who you could blame for Kenny G.

1845 – The rubber band was patented.
* Used mainly for securing loose items, it was originally patented as “a sprightly self-projecting finger missile for teasingly impacting fellow office-workers about the head or fetlocks.”

1792 – The New York Stock Exchange opened.
* At the end of the first day, the Dow was up seven cents, three horses and a bushel of corn on brisk trading of three shares.

1756 – Britain declared war on France.
* Which ticked the French off JUST enough to convince them to help us kick Britain’s butt 20 years later.

1673 – Louis Joliet and Jacques Marquette begin exploring the Mississippi River.
* “Hey, where are all those riverboat gambling parlors everybody’s talking about?”

1620 – The first merry-go-round appeared at a fair in Turkey.
* It was a giant leap forward in public puking.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2016 – Alanis Morissette sued her former business manager for fraud saying she was robbed of almost $5M. In papers filed in Los Angeles County Superior Court, the singer claimed Jonathan Schwartz transferred money to his own accounts without permission. Schwartz eventually pled guilty to defrauding Morissette and other clients, and was sentenced to six years in prison and ordered to pay $8.6 million in restitution.

2012 – Donna Summer, the 1970s pop singer known as the Queen of Disco, died of lung cancer, an illness she believed she contracted from inhaling toxic particles released after the September 11 terrorist attacks in New York. She won five Grammy Awards, six American Music Awards, and had three multi-platinum albums, including the hits “Hot Stuff,” “Love to Love You, Baby” and “I Feel Love.”

2006 – Paul McCartney and his wife Heather Mills admitted that they had given up the fight to save their marriage, saying that after four years together, they were going their separate ways.

1986 – David Crosby, of Crosby, Stills & Nash, joined a prison rock band while he was serving time.

1980 – KISS drummer Peter Criss left the group to pursue a solo career.

1975 – Rolling Stones singer Mick Jagger put his hand through a restaurant window. Emergency surgery was required.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. The average person will keep THIS for about nine years before replacing it. What is it?
Their car

2. 29% of guys admit they do THIS almost every day while driving. What is it?
Talk to their car

3. The average family spends 80% more on THIS when teenagers start driving. What is it?
Car insurance

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