FRIDAY, Mar 15 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, March 15, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

AG DAY, CELEBRATING OUR BOUNTIFUL FOOD SUPPLY

DUMBSTRUCK DAY
The Cute Calendar website says this:
“Dumbstruck Day takes place on March 15. If you’re dumbstruck, you are so shocked that you’re unable to speak. You can use Dumbstruck Day to be dumbstruck over all the shocking things you see, hear, read and smell. ‘Dumbstruck’ is a combination of ‘dumb’ and ‘struck’: you are dumbstruck as if you are struck dumb with astonishment and surprise. ‘Dumb’ means ‘silent, silent, speechless, mute, unable to speak’ (although that usage is now considered insensitive and un-woke).”

IDES OF MARCH / BRUTUS DAY
Wikipedia says this:
“The Ides of March is a day on the Roman calendar that corresponds to 15 March. It was marked by several religious observances and became notorious as the date of the assassination of Julius Caesar in 44 BC. The death of Caesar made the Ides of March a turning point in Roman history, as one of the events that marked the transition from the historical period known as the Roman Republic to the Roman Empire. Brutus Day aims to promote recognition of the fact that betrayal, backstabbing and dirty politics aren’t by any means a thing of the past, and are as widespread and tactical in our modern, corporate lives as they were in the forums of ancient Rome. Watch your back, avoid office politics, and look out for your friends!”

NATIONAL EVERYTHING YOU THINK IS WRONG DAY
The Cute Calendar website says this:
“You should recognize during this day that we are all vulnerable and are not always right: it is a special day to recognize that everyone has a bad day once in a while and it can even happen to you.”

NATIONAL PEARS HELENE DAY

TRUE CONFESSIONS DAY
The Days Of The Year website says this:
“Keeping a guilty secret can be stressful and puts a strain on any relationship. On a lighter note, confessing your feelings to someone could start a beautiful new friendship! True Confessions Day is a day that was created to inspire people to let go of their secrets and have a day of honesty. It’s no surprise that confession is such a big part of many religions: it allows one to cleanse their heart of their troubles and move on with a clear conscience. Confessing a secret that’s been difficult to keep feels good and helps to relieve stress, so why not give True Confessions Day a try by getting something off your chest and talking things through with a loved one. Remember that honesty is the best policy all year round, so maybe celebrating True Confessions Day will help inspire openness in more relationships, which can only be a good thing.”

WORLD CONSUMER RIGHTS DAY

March is:

Adopt a Rescued Guinea Pig Month
American Red Cross Month
Employee Spirit Month
Expanding Girls’ Horizons in Science and Engineering Month
Gender Equality Month
Irish-American Heritage Month
National Craft Month
National Women Inventors Month
National Women’s History Month
Read an E-Book Month

THE BUZZMOM ANGRY AT GRANDPARENTS FOR PIERCING BABY’S EARS

Another story from Reddit’s “Am I the A–hole?” A woman going by the name New_Army_5718 wrote, “My mom and dad are Mexican; I am an American citizen. On a visit with them in Mexico, my parents got my 1-year-old daughter earrings for her birthday. My daughter’s ears are not pierced. I told them that I would save them for her until she was old enough to get her ears pierced. We left my daughter with my parents while we went to meet up with some friends. When we went to pick up my daughter my mom showed us that they had taken her to get her ears pierced.” The woman and her husband grabbed the baby, took off, and told her parents that the only way they were going to see the baby again is if they came with both their noses pierced. And they have stuck to that demand.
* Holey earlobes!
* I’d demand noses pierced AND a pink mohawk on grandma.
* Wait’ll they change the kid’s diaper and see the tramp stamp tattoo.
* “Our baby needs a piercing like she needs a hole in the head.”
* Relax. The kid is 1 year old. You know how fast a piercing closes up on a 1-year-old? About four minutes.
* PHONE TOPIC: Have your kid’s grandparents ever overstepped their bounds?

NEW TREND: MEWING

There’s a new trend happening among our obnoxious children. It’s called “mewing.” Actual mewing is a technique created by the Mew brothers, Mike and John Mew, who are British orthodontists. When you’re not talking, you press your tongue against the roof of your mouth. It’s supposed to make your jaw line more square. If you do that – right now, go ahead and press your tongue against the roof of your mouth – you’ll find that it also keeps your mouth closed.
Well…. those slack-jawed yokel kids of yours have adapted the technique into a rude gesture. When you’re talking to the kid, they’ll close their mouth, make a”shush” gesture with their finger in front of their lips, and then point to their jaw as if they were ‘mewing’ and can’t respond to you. The effect is, “I don’t care what you have to say.”
The problem is, kids are now doing the gesture in the classroom. When a teacher asks them a question or tries to tell them something, the kid will mew at them to silently indicate that they’re “unavailable” to listen because they are mewing. Teachers are finding it disrespectful and frustrating and don’t know how to respond. It’s as if to say, “Hush, now is not the time be telling me something, I’m improving my jawline.”
* “How’d you like me to improve your buttline with my foot, you little snot?”
* Gee, back in the day, if kids wanted to be disrespectful when you asked them a question, they’d plank.
* Still, I guess I’d rather have them mew at me than twerk at me.
* Hello, teachers? It’s called ‘go stand in the hallway’ or ‘go sit in the back of the room’ or ‘let’s call your mom.’

U.S. NEWS

PITTSBURGH PENGUINS JAGR BOBBLEHEADS STOLEN

The Pittsburgh Penguins on Thursday announced that someone had stolen a truckload of Jaromir Jagr bobbleheads that were to be given away to fans at Thursday night’s game against the San Jose Sharks. President of Business Operations Kevin Acklin said, “We were shocked to be a victim of cargo theft, and we are working closely with local and federal authorities on the investigation.” The team said all fans in attendance will receive a voucher that includes a one-time scannable barcode that will be required to pick up the bobblehead at a later date.
* I would have preferred the substitution of a free hot dog, but whatever.
* Alright, who’s the chowderhead who stole the bobbleheads?
* Stealing bobbleheads. Shameful. You can’t see me, but I’m shaking my head.
* Honestly, doesn’t this sound like the plot for “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective 3”?
* If they catch the guy, they oughta make him stand in front of the goal without pads for five minutes.

AUDIO: WOMAN’S QR CODE TATTOO LEADS TO RICKROLL

A 25-year-old woman from Las Vegas named Meiying Rentas has 97 tattoos on her body. One of them on her right arm is a QR code. That’s the thing you scan with your phone and it takes you to website. When you scan her QR tattoo, guess what you get? This:
AUDIO: “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)com/prep/wp-content/uploads/NeverGonnaGiveYouUp(dot)mp3
That’s right, you get Rickrolled. She said that she and her friends Rickroll each other a lot, and she wanted to top everyone. She also said random people ask if they can scan her arm, and she lets them. The QR tattoo took four hours and cost $250.
* Ha ha, that’s great, for ten years ago.
* From the tattoo, you get Rickrolled. She gets tetanus. Fair trade.
* Sorry, but some people really don’t deserve their 15 minutes of fame.
* I don’t know what this lady from Vegas does for a living, but I bet there are some ladies for rent out there that have a bar code tattoo, to make check out go faster.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

TORONTO: CITY OF CAR THIEVES

The police in Toronto, Canada, are encouraging residents to prevent violent encounters with criminals by making it easier for them to steal your car. At a recent community safety meeting, Toronto Police Constable Marco Ricciardi explained it thusly: Car thieves that break into your home really only want your car. So, to prevent the possibility of being attacked in your home, leave your key fobs at your front door. They don’t want anything else, just the keys to your car. There were 12,024 vehicles stolen in Toronto last year, up 3,000 more than the year before.
* And with this idea, they’re hoping to REALLY boost those numbers.
* You might want to also leave some snacks next to the bowl with the keys in it, in case your thieves are hungry.
* And don’t tick them off – keep the tank filled.
* And here I thought they only wanted the diamonds in my wall safe.
* Remember the Toronto Cops motto: We gave up, and so can you.

ANTARCTIC POST OFFICE NOW HIRING

This story pops up every couple of years, and here it is again. The world’s southernmost post office, in Antarctica, is seeking three new employees to spend four months sorting mail and counting penguins. The post office is located at Britain’s Port Lockroy base on Goudier Island. It needs workers from November of this year until March 2025. The workers’ duties will include sorting through letters and postcards, selling stamps, running a small gift shop and keeping count of the local colony of about 1,500 penguins. The post office processes up to 80,000 letters and postcards each year, the majority of which are mailed out by passengers on cruise ships that stop at the island during the Southern Hemisphere’s summer. Applicants must be residents of the United Kingdom, and must be prepared to bunk with five other people, go long stretches without phone or Internet access, and make do without running water for the duration of their stay.
* Having your own snow shovel would also be a plus.
* On the bright side, the timing of this means you would miss the November election in the U.S.
* Sounds like a pretty easy job, like there’d be a lot of time to just chill.
* Why do they need three people? Don’t tell me there are lines at the Antarctica post office, though I wouldn’t doubt it.
* And why do these three people have to bunk with two other people? What are those two other people there for? Food?

ALMANACNOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

March 17, Sunday – St. Patrick’s Day
March 19, Tuesday – Spring begins, Spring Equinox is 11:06 p.m. EDT
March 20, Wednesday – First full day of Spring
March 31, Sunday – Easter
April 1, Monday – April Fools Day
April 15, Monday – U.S. Tax Day
May 12, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 27, Monday – Memorial Day

BIRTHDAYS

Brian Tee (actor, “Chicago Med/Fire/PD”) … 47
Eva Longoria Parker (actress, “Telenovela”) … 49
will.i.am (frontman for Black Eyed Peas) … 49
Kim Raver (actress, “Grey’s Anatomy”) … 57
Bret Michaels (rock singer w Poison, reality TV personality) … 61
Dee Snider (rock singer with Twisted Sister) … 69
Frances Conroy (actress, “American Horror Story”) … 71
Sly Stone (singer with Sly & The Family Stone, real name Sylvester Stewart) … 81
Mike Love (singer with the Beach Boys) … 83
Phil Lesh (bassist with the Grateful Dead) … 84
Judd Hirsch (actor, “The Fablemans,” “Numb3rs”, “Taxi”) … 89

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I always wanted to be a rock star as a kid.”

(A) Bill Nye the Science Guy
(B) Dr. Oz
(C) Dee Snider

ANSWER: (C) Dee Snider

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2018 – Toy chain Toys R Us announced it would close all its stores after filing for bankruptcy.
* Anybody want some giant inflatable giraffes?

1985 – The first Internet domain name, symbolics-dot-com, was registered by the Symbolics Computer Corp. of Massachusetts.
* They should have grabbed coca-cola-dot-com.

1962 – Five research groups simultaneously announced the discovery of anti-matter.
* Just in time to make “Star Trek” possible a few years later.

1938 – Oil was discovered in Saudi Arabia.
* The first thing they had to do was build a pipeline – to handle all our money pouring in.

1937 – The first blood bank opened in Chicago.
* Not to be confused with regular banks that bleed you dry on your credit cards.

1892 – The escalator was patented.
* Moving staircases would reign as the biggest tribute to laziness ‘til the invention of the TV dinner.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2010 – Sony Music announced the biggest recording deal in history with the estate of Michael Jackson worth more than $200m. The deal involved 10 album projects over seven years including one of previously unreleased material. Sony had sold about 31 million copies of Jackson’s albums worldwide since his death on 25 June, 2009.

2002 – Yoko Ono unveiled a seven-foot bronze statue of John Lennon overlooking the check-in hall of Liverpool John Lennon airport. The re-branding of the airport featured a sketch of Lennon’s face with the words “Above Us Only Sky.”

2000 – Mick Jagger was ordered to increase his child support payments to Brazilian model Luciana Morad from $5,500 a month to $10,000. Mick was asked to confirm that he was the father of her child by the court, while Ms. Morad was seeking a $10 million settlement. Morad told the court her monthly expenses: $3,500 for a nanny; $2,500–3,000 for food and $3,350 to rent her place on New York’s Upper West Side.

2000 – Sir Paul McCartney confirmed that he and former model Heather Mills had become “an item.” The two met after working on the same charity project.

1999 – Relatives of Buddy Holly filed a suit against MCA Records for allegedly hoarding royalty payments, forging contracts and illegally producing albums without the consent of the family.

1989 – The Rolling Stones signed a world record performing deal, earning themselves $70 million to do 50 North American dates.

1975 – The group T. Rex disbanded.

1975 – The Doobie Brothers went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Black Water,” the group’s first of two No.1’s.

1955 – Elvis Presley signed a management contract with Colonel Tom Parker. Parker had previously managed the “Great Parker Pony Circus” with one of the acts being a troupe of dancing chickens.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 90% of U.S. homes have THIS food in them right now. What is it?
Ice cream

2. Studies show that when you reach age 35, you eat THIS twice as much as you did when you were a kid. What is it?
Yogurt

3. According to a recent study, when people do THIS, they consume almost 45% more calories than when they don’t. What is it?
When they dine with other people

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