FRIDAY, Jan 26 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, January 26, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

AUSTRALIA DAY
The Australia Day website says this:
“Australia Day, 26 January, is the anniversary of the arrival of the First Fleet of 11 convict ships from Great Britain, and the raising of the Union Jack at Sydney Cove by its commander Captain Arthur Phillip, in 1788.”

INT’l HOLOCAUST REMEMBRANCE DAY

LOTUS 1-2-3 DAY
The Every Day Is Special blog says this:
“It’s a day to celebrate spreadsheets, which as easy as 1-2-3, because on this date in 1983, Lotus began to sell its best-selling, user-friendly spreadsheet for Microsoft DOS.”

NATIONAL PEANUT BRITTLE DAY

NATIONAL PISTACHIO DAY

SPOUSE’S DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Spouse’s Day is a time to enjoy and appreciate your better half. You can use this day as a prelude or warm up to Valentine’s Day, perhaps. But, its not as much of a gift giving event. Rather, use it as a time to show your spouse that you care and appreciate all of the things that he/she does for you and for the household. Over the long years of a relationship, its easy to take for granted the many things your spouse does. He/she’s always there. They do so many big and little things as a routine event. So, take today to notice and to say thanks. As for the ‘enjoyment’ part of the day … we will leave that up to you to enjoy your spouse however the two of you desire …”

TOAD HOLLOW DAY OF ENCOURAGEMENT
The Giftypedia website says this:
“Toad Hollow Day of Encouragement comes from the legend of Toad Hollow which is rooted in an 1800’s school house in Kalamazoo, Michigan and the stories told by Ralph C. Morrison. Though Morrison said that Toad Hollow cannot be found on a map, but rather, it’s found in your heart. This is a day to give to give encouragement and support to others (people you like, and even those you do not).”

January is:

Adopt a Rescued Bird Month
Be Kind to Food Servers Month
Family Fit Lifestyle Month
Financial Wellness Month
Get Organized Month
National Candy Month
National Clean Up Your Computer Month
National Hobby Month
National Skating Month
National Train Your Dog Month
Walk Your Pet Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

NFL BANS SUPER BOWL PLAYERS FROM GAMBLING WHILE THEY ARE IN LAS VEGAS

The NFL has sent out an email with a short list of rules for players attending or participating in the Super Bowl this year, which is taking place in Las Vegas. The email reads: “While in Las Vegas, players participating in the Super Bowl are prohibited from engaging in any form of gambling, including casino games and betting on any sport.” Non-Super Bowl NFL players are still allowed to gamble while in Vegas, and they can even bet on sports, but not the Super Bowl.
* And after the game, the NFL is taking every player to the Cheesecake Factory. Sorry, you can’t have dessert.
* “Hey, we’re holding the Super Bowl in Cabo San Lucas! No swimming, y’hear?”
* Hmm. No ban on hookers, huh?
* Can they buy scratch-off lottery tickets at least?
* But, boy, wait until the game is over and all those players have their Super Bowl checks in hand. It’ll be a money tsunami.

THE BUZZ

WHAT IS YOUR PET’S NAME, AND WHAT DO YOU USUALLY CALL THEM?

Fark.com asked its readers “What is your pet’s name, but what nicknames do you use to call them? Some of the answers:
– Cat: Tikky. Nicknames: Tickles, Tikky attack, Tickly attack, Mystikky
– Cat: Satchel. Nicknames: Kittyboi, Baby Boy, Handsome, Mister Velvet
– Cat: Bruce. Nicknames: Bruders, Handsome, Mr. Man, Dikwad
– Chihuahua: Ninja. Nicknames:  Noodles,  Baby Noods
– Dog: Watson. Nicknames: Blindie, Little Idiot
– Dog: Hercules. Nickname: Herc the Jerk
– Dog: Captain Shorgi. Nicknames: Captain Stinkypants. Stinkerson McStinkypants. Captain von Stinkypants.
– Cat: Miss Dave. Nickname: Thunder Thighs, Fattieboombalattie
– Cat: Princess Zelda Pierogi Nickname: “No, Godamnit”
– Cat: Ruby. Nicknames: RuRu, Ruki, Chuqui, Chook, Chonker, Rubarb, Ru, Rookookaroo, Rukimami,
– Dog: Mayhem. Nicknames: Ham, Hammy, Fat Boy
– Dog: Milo. Nickname: DropItDropItDropItDropItMyGodWhatIsThat
* Jeeze Louise! What do you call your pet if you DON’T like it?
* The only thing you really need to call your pet is “dinnertime!”
* PHONE TOPIC: What’s your pet’s name, but what do you really call it?

BACK AT THE RAUNCH

IF SEX TOYS WERE NAMED AFTER PRO WRESTLERS

(Note: This story may not be right for your station. Please use your discretion.)
A former WWE employee has just filed a lawsuit against Vince McMahon claiming sexual abuse. It’s a pretty unsavory story, but one of the things that the woman claims in the lawsuit is that Vince McMahon had sex toys that he named after wrestling stars. You can only imagine what sex toys named after pro wrestlers would be:
– The Next Big Thing (Brock Lesnar)
– The Widowmaker (Barry Windham)
– The Eight Wonder of the World (Andre the Giant)
– The Crippler (Chris Benoit)
– Mr. Piledriver (Bob Sweetan)
– The Swiss Sensation (Cesaro)
– The Polish Hammer (Ivan Putski)
– The Big Red Monster (Kane)
– The Big Valboski (Val Venis)
– The Texas Tornado (Kerry Von Erich)
– The French Paradox (Pierre Marceau)
– Big Poppa Pump (Scott Steiner)
– The Gentleman Bruiser (Sion Gotch)
– The Big Flexer (Alexis Littlefoot)
– The Jersey Devil (Sonya Deville)
– The Canadian Freight Train (Jos LeDuc)
– The Perfect Ten (Tye Dillinger)

U.S. NEWS

CAR CRASH VICTIM STEALS SAMARITAN’S CAR, CRASHES AGAIN

A Florida man crashed his car into the central median barrier on State Road 50 in Brooksville at around 8:30 p.m. on Tuesday night. A nice lady saw the crash, stopped her car and started walking up to the wreck. Behind her, the driver of the wrecked car jumped into the lady’s SUV and took off. But he then lost control of the vehicle and crossed over into the eastbound lanes where he crashed head-on with a tractor-trailer. He died. The tractor-trailer driver had minor injuries. The lady gets to deal with the insurance companies.
* This has been another edition of The Daily Karma Report.
* Also to be posted on the No Good Deed Goes Unpunished website.
* It’s the Circle of Life, Florida-style.
* By the time we can all have self-driving cars, everybody like this will have killed themselves in accidents. Too bad.

LONG ISLAND MAN HOARDED EXOTIC ANIMALS

There are people who hoard animals like cats and dogs, and then there’s this guy: A Long Island, New York man was busted for possessing more than 100 exotic animals inside his basement and backyard. Authorities confiscated a South American ostrich, peacocks, an endangered Tiger Salamander, a Giant African Snail, a possum, two prairie dogs, an Asian Water Monitor, a Savannah monitor, a Sulcata tortoise, dozens of chickens, ducks, geese, and many snakes and turtles. Many of the birds were used as food for the lizards.
* And the prairie dogs eat the lizards, and the possums eat the snails …
* Planning to start a really innovative restaurant?
* Forget the animal trading, he could have made a fortune selling the compost pile to yuppie gardeners.
* Who keeps an ostrich? I bet he had some amazing omelets.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

DON’T EAT FRIED TOOTHPICKS

South Korea’s food ministry has put out a notice warning people not to eat fried toothpicks. The practice went viral in social media posts, showing people eating the deep-fried green toothpicks which, when dropped in hot oil, come out resembling little curly fries. The toothpicks are made from corn starch, which is environmentally friendly and biodegradable, but not necessarily good for you if you eat it.
* Also, don’t swallow your fork. Very important.
* I’m sure North Koreans are going, “Oh, sure – THEY get to eat TOOTHPICKS! We’re still eating grass.”
* I’d call this a self-correcting problem.
* Toothpicks made of cornstarch. Every time you get one out of the box, it’s covered with ants.
* Also explains why the cupboard is suddenly full of cockroaches.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

TODAY – Int’l Holocaust Remembrance Day (UN)
February 2, Friday – Groundhog Day
February 10, Saturday – Chinese New Year (The Year of the Dragon)
February 12, Monday – Lincoln’s Birthday
February 14, Wednesday – Valentine’s Day
February 19, Monday – Presidents Day / Washington’s Birthday
February 13, Tuesday – Shrove Tuesday/Mardi Gras
March 10, Sunday – Daylight Saving Time Begins
March 17, Sunday – St. Patrick’s Day
March 19, Tuesday – Spring begins, Spring Equinox is 11:06 p.m. EDT
March 20, Wednesday – First full day of Spring

BIRTHDAYS

Sara Rue (actress, “Mom”) … 46
Kelly Stables (actress, “Superstore”) … 46
Bryan Callen (actor, “Schooled,” “The Goldbergs”) … 57
Andrew Ridgeley (guitarist, singer, Wham!) … 61
Wayne Gretzky (hockey Hall-of-Famer) … 63
Ellen DeGeneres (comedian, talk show host) … 66

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I was raised with such fear, with the idea that you don’t ever take a risk and don’t ever make waves – you just wanna be good and nice and then people will like you.”

(A) Miley Cyrus
(B) Eminem
(C) Ellen DeGeneres

ANSWER: (C) Ellen DeGeneres

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2009 – “Octomom” Nadya Suleman of Whittier, Calif., gave birth to octuplets conceived by in vitro fertilization. Suleman was already a mother of six.
* I’ve heard of “Cheaper by the Dozen,” but 14 is pushing it.

1998 – Bill Clinton declared “I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.”
* So I guess it was HER who had sex with HIM.

1926 – Television was first demonstrated by J. L. Baird in London.
* Unfortunately there was nothing good on.

1905 – A man by the name of Captain Wells found the world’s largest diamond – the 3,106-carat Cullinan.
* The following week he received the world’s largest amount of marriage proposals.

1875 – The electric dental drill was patented.
* You may hate that drill, but remember – before then they had to use little hammers and chisels.

1838 – Tennessee became the first state to prohibit alcohol.
* Also on this date, Tennessee became the first state to initiate bootlegging.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2020 – Billie Eilish swept the board at the 2020 Grammys, winning five awards, including best new artist and song of the year, becoming the first person to achieve the feat since Christopher Cross in 1981. The 18-year-old also won album of the year for her debut, “When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go.” She replaced Taylor Swift as the youngest person ever to win the award.

2008 – Alicia Keys was at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with her third album “As I Am.” The album sold over 742,000 copies in its first week the largest ever first week sales for any female R&B artist.

2003 – Billy Joel was airlifted to hospital after his car smashed into a tree. The singer lost control of his Mercedes S500 and skidded for 100 yards before crashing. The accident happened in The Hamptons near New York.

2003 – B2K and Puff Daddy went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Bump Bump Bump.”

1991 – Cher made a special video for the troops involved in Desert Storm during the Gulf war. Cher’s Video Canteen featured Janet Jackson, Paul Simon, Van Halen and Bonnie Raitt.

1986 – Allen Collins from Lynyrd Skynyrd crashed his car, paralysing him from the waist down and killing his girlfriend Debra Jean Watts.

1980 – Prince made his TV debut on American Bandstand. While he delivered confident performances of “I Wanna Be Your Lover” and “Why You Wanna Treat Me So Bad,” the shy artist struggled to answer host Dick Clark’s questions.

1977 – Former Fleetwood Mac guitarist Peter Green was committed to a mental hospital following an incident when he threatened his accountant Clifford Adams with an air rifle when he was trying to deliver a $51,000 royalty check to him.

1974 – Ringo Starr went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with his version of the Johnny Burnette 1960 hit “You’re Sixteen.”

1970 – John Lennon wrote, recorded and mixed his new single “Instant Karma” all in one day.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. According to research, 20% of women own more than 11 different kinds of THIS. What is it?
Lipstick

2. According to a recent survey, almost 15% of women don’t go out (to nightclubs) because of THIS. What is it?
The aches and pains associated with wearing high heels

3. The majority of people surveyed said women should stop doing THIS at age 38. What is it?
Getting a belly button piercing

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