FRIDAY, April 12 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, April 12, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: TAXES – ANIMANITAX; THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

EQUAL PAY DAY

GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH DAY

INTERNATIONAL DAY OF HUMAN SPACE FLIGHT
Wikipedia says this:
“In 2011, April 12 was declared as the International Day of Human Space Flight in dedication of the first manned space flight made on April 12, 1961 by the 27-year-old Russian Soviet cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin. Gagarin circled the Earth for 1 hour and 48 minutes aboard the Vostok 1 spacecraft.”

NATIONAL DROP EVERYTHING AND READ (D.E.A.R.) DAY
In honor of renowned children’s author Beverly Cleary’s birthday.

NATIONAL LICORICE DAY

April is:

Adopt a Greyhound Month
Car Care Month
Celebrate Diversity Month
D.E.A.R Drop Everything and Read Month
International Guitar Month
Jazz Appreciation Month
Keep America Beautiful Month
National Card and Letter Writing Month
National Garden Month
National Humor Month
National Poetry Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

AUDIO: OJ SIMPSON DEAD

O.J. Simpson, who became one of the most infamous figures in the US during his murder trial in the ’90s, has died after a cancer battle. The former NFL star died Wednesday in Las Vegas, his family confirmed. He was 76. Simpson had been receiving treatment in Las Vegas after a prostate cancer diagnosis, Simpson’s career as an NFL MVP and actor came screeching to a halt when he was put on trial for the 1994 murder of his ex-wife, Nicole Brown, and her friend, Ron Goldman. he trial became a television and tabloid sensation that gripped the nation, while Simpson’s controversial acquittal was considered one of the great failures of the American justice system.
* But then, 2024 isn’t over yet.
* And don’t think there’s not a crazy mad search for a handwritten confession going on right now.
* Nordberg finally succumbed to his injuries.
CLIP: In 2007, OJ came out with a book, “If I Did It” a “hypothetical” description of the murders. At the time, we did this song parody. “If I Killed Nicole & Ronnie,” based on “If I Had A Million Dollars” by Barenaked Ladies. Is it in bad taste? Yes. But here it is, in case you’d like to air it.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)com/prep/wp-content/uploads/OJSimpson-IfIKilledNicoleRonnie(dot)mp3
CLIP: Here’s another short musical bit from 2017, when OJ was freed on parole in 2017 after serving 9 years for burglary for stealing his own sports memorabilia from a collector. “OJ-OH (OJ Free and he wanna go golf.)”
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)com/prep/wp-content/uploads/10-02-OJ-Oh-Free(dot)mp3

THE BUZZ

I WISH I’D DONE IT SOONER

Reddot asked, “What improved your quality of life so much, you wished you had done it sooner?” Some of the responses:
– “Surprisingly, getting a dishwasher. I feel like I’m living in the lap of luxury after hand-washing my dishes the past 13 years.”
– “Bought a sound bar after all my life gaming and watching movies with screen built in speakers… OMG”
– “Adopting a cat.”
– “Getting my Apnea diagnosed completely changed my life. You don’t realize how tired you are until you actually wake up rested.”
– “Stretching.” [Note: As expected, there were a LOT of responses that said exercising, quitting alcohol and cigarettes, and more than a few that said “Quit drinking sodas.”]
– “Cleaning my sheets once a week instead of three times a year – i swear it helps my mindset and always makes me feel so clean and happy.”
– “A good mattress.”
– “Sleeping early, waking up early.”
– “Comfortable underwear. Worth the extra money.”
– “A bidet. What the hell are Americans resisting?”
– “Giving to charity.”
– “Blocking news outlets.”
– “Listening to more music. Music is good for the soul.”
* And let’s end it there!
* PHONE TOPIC: What little thing has improved your quality of life that you wish you had done sooner?

U.S. NEWS

LIBRARY APOLOGIZES FOR HANDING OUT FAKE ECLIPSE GLASSES

A library in New Jersey issued an urgent statement back on Monday morning after learning that the eclipse glasses they handed out to their patrons may have been fake. The Moorestown Library took to Facebook before Monday’s eclipse to post a statement, reading: “Alert: Solar eclipse glasses distributed by the Library may be counterfeit. They were purchased at Walmart’s website. We have recently learned that though they are labeled as having be manufactured by Medical King, they may be counterfeit. We advise against using these and apologize profusely for the error.”
* It’s hard to believe a company called Medical King would have low safety standards.
* It’s hard to believe a Walmart website would sell something that wasn’t absolute top quality.
* One clue: the glasses were labeled as “X-ray Specs.”
* Anyone else find it ironic that a library probably blinded its customers?
* On the bright side, the library issued a notice saying they have greatly expanded their large-print section.

BAKER LOSES RING IN COOKIE DOUGH

The owner of a Kansas bakery is asking customers to check their cookies after she lost the $4,000 diamond from her ring in the dough. Dawn Monroe, owner of Sis Sweets Cookies & Café in Leavenworth, said the diamond fell off the ring that has been on her finger for 36 years at some point while she was at the shop. Monroe fears the gem ended up in the cookie dough. She wrote on the business’ Facebook page, “If you happened to find it, I would forever be in debt if you would return it.”
* Now that, my friends, is what you call a fortune cookie.
* Will she cover your dental bill?
* Her cookies have the Helzberg difference.
* Now you have a friend in the cookie business. (For those of you with a Shane Co. store in your city.)
* The one person working in food prep who doesn’t wear gloves now, and THIS happens.
* “I think my diamond fell in the dough.” “The what??” “Dough!” “D’OH!!!”

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

CASTAWAYS SAVED BY WRITING “HELP” ON THE BEACH

Three stranded boaters were rescued from a remote Pacific island this week by writing “help” on the beach in palm fronds. The Polynesian men were fishing off the Pikelot Atoll, which is part of Micronesia, on March 31 when their 20-foot skiff was overtaken by swells. (* By a couple of rich people?) The men were forced to abandon ship. Once they made it to the uninhabited island, however, their radio’s battery died. So they used palm fronds to spell out the word “HELP” on the beach. While waiting for a rescue, they ate coconut meat and got fresh water from a small well, which had been installed by fishermen who occasionally stop by the island. A search began a week later, on April 6. A US Navy P-8A jet from the American air base on Okinawa, Japan, spotted the “Help” sign on April 7. The Navy dropped survival packs and a radio. Finally, on Tuesday, April 9, a Coast Guard cutter reached the island and the men were rescued. And, in an amazing coincidence, the first sailor off the Coast Guard ship to meet the men turned out to be a cousin of the three castaways.
* So, a nice happy ending. Until they get the bill for the rescue.
* The men hope to return to the island one day to retrieve their volleyball friend.
* They wanted to spell “Help, we are stranded on this island” but they needed the fronds for the roofs of their huts.
* Palm fronds are so last week. We’re now on to sticks and rocks.
* I just hope they used that radio to tune in to (your station).

ITALIAN CATHOLICS OUTRAGED OVER ‘NUNS EATING POTATO CHIPS’ COMMERCIAL

A Catholic watchdog group is calling for a ban on a commercial airing in Italy because it depicts nuns eating potato chips instead of communion wafers. With “Ave Maria” playing in the background, the ad shows the mother superior seemingly substituting chips for the traditional wafers before Mass, surprising the priest and other nuns. As the commercial builds, the nuns’ crunching of the chips nearly drowns out the song. The Italian Association of Radio and Television Listeners said the commercial for Amica Chips is blasphemous and “offends the religious sensitivity of millions of practicing Catholics by trivializing the comparison between the potato chip and the consecrated object.” The Catholic newspaper Avvenire wrote in an editorial that, “Christ has been reduced to a potato chip, debased and vilified like 2,000 years ago.”
* And they were using a chalice of wine as the dip.
* If Christ keeps appearing on French toast and tortillas, I don’t think he’d mind the potato chip thing.
* This could lead to a product line of Hot & Spicy Bar-B-Q-eucharist.
* Next, people will be demanding communion wafers with ridges.
* Well, there goes the new campaign idea for Ritz crackers.

ALMANACNOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

April 15, Monday – U.S. Tax Day
May 12, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 27, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Friday – Flag Day
June 16, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 20, Thursday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 4:50 P.M. EST)

BIRTHDAYS

Matt McGorry (actor, “How To Get Away with Murder,” “Orange Is the New Black”) … 38
Claire Danes (actress, “Homeland,” “Terminator 3,” “My So-Called Life”) … 45
Jennifer Morrison (actress, “This Is Us,” “Once Upon a Time”, “House”) … 45
Guy Berryman (bassist with Coldplay) … 46
Nicholas Brendon (actor, “Criminal Minds,” “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”) … 53
Shannen Doherty (actress, “Beverly Hills 90210” versions, “Charmed”) … 53
Vince Gill (country singer) … 67
Andy Garcia (actor, “Rebel,” “The Mule”) … 68
David Letterman (retired comedian, talk-show host) … 77
Ed O’Neill (actor, “Modern Family,” “Married … With Children”) … 78

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I can get a dance party started pretty much anywhere and anytime.”

(A) Pope Francis
(B) Lester Holt
(C) Claire Danes

ANSWER: (C) Claire Danes

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2009 – American cargo ship captain Richard Phillips was rescued from Somali pirates by U.S. Navy snipers who shot and killed three of the hostage-takers.
* “I want Tom Hanks to play me in the movie!”

1992 – Euro Disney opened in France.
* It had the longest lines the French had seen since World War Two rationing.

1985 – Federal inspectors declared that four animals of the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus were not unicorns. They were goats with horns that had been surgically implanted.
* Your tax dollars at work.

1981 – The first space shuttle, Columbia, was launched.
* What a wonderful achievement in space! Well, next to putting up all those satellites that deliver porn around the world.

1961 – Russia’s Yuri Alexeyevich Gagarin became the first person to orbit the Earth.
* There he was, in a cold, inhospitable void … then he blasted off from Russia into space.

1955 – The Salk polio vaccine was introduced.
* Today’s generation doesn’t even know what polio is. And that was the point!

1877 – A catcher’s mask was first used in a baseball game.
* By Bob “Black Eye” Jones.

1861 – America’s Civil War began.
* And no, it wasn’t very civil at all.

1844 – Texas became part of the United States.
* Although, in Texas, they feel THEY agreed to add the United States.

1833 – Charles Gaylor patented the fireproof safe.
* Though it was hard to sign the patent forms with those bandages on his hands.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2015 – Grammy Award-winning rapper Nelly was arrested on drugs charges after police stopped the bus in which he was traveling in Tennessee. Officers found “five colored crystal-type rocks that tested positive for methamphetamine, as well as a small amount of marijuana and other drug paraphernalia” and handguns on board the tour bus.

2010 – The Vatican’s official newspaper L’Osservatore Ramano published a story praising The Beatles and saying that it forgave John Lennon for his 1966 comment that the group was “bigger than Jesus.” Lennon told a British newspaper in 1966 – at the height of Beatlemania – that he did not know which would die out first, Christianity or rock and roll.

2005 – Mariah Carey released “The Emancipation of Mimi.” The album entered the U.S. chart at number one, going six times platinum in less than a year, and subsequently became the most successful album of 2005.

2000 – The members of Metallica filed a suit against Napster, Yale University, The University of Southern California and Indiana University for copyright infringement after they discovered that their entire back catalogue of studio material was available on the Napster network.

1990 – Four asteroids were named after each member of the Beatles.

1993 – Actress Lisa Bonet filed for divorce from Lenny Kravitz.

1988 – Ex-music star Sonny Bono was elected Mayor of Palm Springs.

1986 – The Go-Go’s lead singer Belinda Carlisle married actor Morgan Mason.

1978 – Aretha Franklin married actor Glynn Turman.

1975 – British rock icon David Bowie announced his second retirement, saying: “I’ve rocked my roll. It’s a boring dead end, there will be no more rock ‘n’ roll records from me.”

1975 – Elton John started a two-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Philadelphia Freedom,” his fourth U.S. No.1.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. If you do THIS, you have a one-in-three chance of getting away with it. What is it?
Lie on your resume

2. About 15% of people admit they’ve lied to get THIS. What is it?
A first-class upgrade on an airplane

3. About 25% of people lie to get out of THIS. What is it?
They lie to get out of going to a family gathering

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