EASTERN STAR WARS: EPISODE IV – A NEW POPE
Well, white smoke came out of the chimney signaling that there was a new pope, and then blue smoke came out announcing that the gender was male. American Cardinal Robert Francis Prevost was elected pope on Thursday. He is the first American pontiff in history. (* And it’s a butt-load of history!) He will be known as Pope Leo DiCaprio the 14th. In his first remarks as pope from the balcony of St. Peter’s Basilica, he shockingly veered from hundreds of years of papal tradition… and called for peace. Prevost, a 69-year-old from Chicago, is described as a leader with global experience. He spent much of his career as a missionary in South America and served as bishop in Peru. (* Aw, Paddington!) He most recently led a powerful Vatican office for bishop appointments. (* Ah, so he knows the secrets.) He is expected to build on Pope Francis’ reforms. One Vatican analyst said Prevost is seen as “somebody who is calm and balanced, who is even-handed, and who is very clear on what he thinks needs to be done… but he’s not overly forceful in trying to make that happen.”
* Sounds like he should have called himself Pope Passive-Aggressive the First.
* What I’m hearing is, still no chance for female priests, so we can just move on.
* Well that election was quick. Guess everyone wanted to get out and tour Italy before the Memorial Day crowds.
* Why can’t we elect a president like that? Two days and done. None of this three-year campaign crap.
CLIP: Our “We Have Pontiff” song you can play underneath this story.
