DRUNK GUY KILLED BY SHARK WHILE PEEING IN OCEAN

A drunk Brazilian man was killed by a shark while wading into the surf to relieve himself in the ocean. The attack – no, wait – the “negative interaction” (See today’s story AUSTRALIA MOVES TO BE MORE UNDERSTANDING OF SHARKS) happened last Saturday at Piedade Beach in northeastern Brazil. Marcelo Santos, 51, had been drinking with friends when nature called. He and a friend decided to head into the sea to urinate around 2 p.m. The surf had turned tumultuous and murky that day, my friends, making it difficult to spot anything in the water. Despite signs warnings people to stay out of the ocean, the two men waded in. Suddenly, the shark struck — biting off the unfortunate beach-goer’s hand and taking off a chunk of his leg. Friends managed to drag Santos back onto the beach, where he collapsed unconscious while horrified bystanders looked on. He was immediately rushed to a hospital, where he was pronounced dead. His friend and co-whizzer, Ademir da Silva, who was the only other person in the water at the time, escaped the incident unscathed. It’s unknown what kind of shark bit Santos — it is believed to have been either a bull or tiger shark. The incident took place near an area where there had been 12 prior attacks. Shark attacks are reportedly common during this time of year as the heavy rains make the ocean cloudy.
* And sharks hate clouds – it makes them bitey. That’s a known fact.
* I was kinda feeling sorry for the guy, right up until those last two sentences.
* Just when you thought it was safe to “go” in the water, huh?
* Maybe it was the shark’s way of saying, “Hey, I just cleaned here!”
* Watching a guy whiz is just another worm to a fish.
* On the bright side, Discovery Channel is sending the man’s family $100 for helping to promote Shark Week.