DOORMAN FIRED FOR BEING TOO NICE

New York doorman Ralph Body was fired from his job at a Long Island City apartment building for being too nice. Body, 41, had worked for the Queens tower, called “27 on 27th”, ever since it opened two years ago. He didn’t just hold the door. He checked on pets, cleaned litter boxes, watered plants, held packages; “Everything I did, somebody asked me to do, or there was a need for it,” Body said. But last Sunday, when the staffing company that placed him at the posh building told him “upper management” wanted him out, they told him,”We know you did it for the right reasons, but unfortunately … you’re too nice to the tenants.” They told him that, all those things that he was doing? He shouldn’t be doing them. Tenants are now rallying to bring him back.
* How about making him the hotel butler?
* Maybe if he’d just ended every favor with an “F– you”, he’d still have his job.
* Is there still time for him to get his old job back by, say, burglarizing a few tenants?
* He wasn’t just too nice. He was also too punctual and too reliable.
* Upper management? I don’t know them, but I think I can picture them.
* They call them upper management because they have their heads up their butts.
* Maybe they wanted him at the door – instead of changing litter boxes. Just a theory.
* Yeah, I could see how it’d be a problem if some crook was trying to enter the building and this doorman was upstairs watering the plants.