CHRISTMAS
And now, back to the joyous sounds of Christmas.
War on Christmas! sounder #1 (use when you have a War on Xmas story)
Homer sings “Jingle Bell Rock” (Simpsons)
We’ll go to Santa’s Village! Oh, I hate that place. It’s so crowded at Christmas. (Simpsons)
Ho ho ho. Santa, is that really you? How’d you get in? Through the window. (Family Guy)
Where is he? Where”s my Santa?? (Family Guy)
Tonight you’ll be visited by three spirits. Oh – gin, vodka and tequila, I hope. (Great News)
Early Christmas shopping song.
Merry Xmas everyone! (Futurama)
Dear Lord, we didn’t get the gift we wanted, but isn’t Christmas really about being with your family and your bartender? (Simpsons)
I’ll go outside and make snow angels. (Simpsons)
Stewie is excited to see mall Santa. (Family Guy)
Naughty Stewie negotiates with Santa. (Family Guy)
Aw,man, I can’t believe they still haven’t figured out a way to detangle Christmas lights. (Simpsons)
Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la, la la Rock On!
That’s our Christmas tree? What, did you mug Charlie Brown?
It’s Christmas break! It’s the time of year for peace and good will, dammit. (Bob’s Burgers)
Have fun kids! If you see Rudolph, don’t make fun of him, he doesn’t like that. (Bob’s Burgers)
Christmas! Christmas, oh Christmas you Christmas you. C-h-i– no – C-h-r-i-s-t-m-a-s. (Bob’s Burgers)
Christmas isn’t all about getting stuff. yes it is – take it back! Take it back!! (Bob’s Burgers)
Thanks for waiting, everyone. I now give you Christmas! It was worth it. (Bob’s Burgers)
Merry Christmas, everyone. It’s showtime! (The Muppets)
I’m in a store, and I’m singing! Hey – there’s no singing at the North Pole. Yes there is! (Elf)
You stink, like beef and cheese. You don’t smell like Santa. (Elf)
I know it’s a little early for Christmas, Edward, but I have a present for you. (Edward Scissorhands)
Santa loved a woman who wasn’t clean. (Bad Santa)
Bad Santa’s lunch break. (Bad Santa)
Kids, I know it’s Christmas Eve, but I don’t think you pray to Santa. (Bob’s Burgers)
Christmas morning! Christmas morning! Presents presents presents presents!!! (Bob’s Burgers)
Sometimes this holiday makes me feel like I’m a failure. Hey! You kiss Santa with that mouth? (Bob’s Burgers)
Come on, let’s go carol the crap out of this place. (Bob’s Burgers)
Merry Christmas…Eve Day! (Bob’s Burgers)
At least someone around here’s got the Christmas spirit. (Simpsons)
It’s Christmas, it’s Christmas, it’s Christmas! I didn’t think it would ever come, but it did. (Simpsons)
Christmas Eve. The one night a kid wants to go to sleep, he can’t. (Simpsons)
This is the worst Christmas ever. (Simpsons)
Ohh…every time Santa and I get together,it’s a disaster. (Simpsons)
The three wise men bear gifts. (Simpsons)
The Simpsons Nutcracker. (Simpsons)
Welcome to Santa’s Village, where it’s Christmas every day. Closed on Christmas. (Simpsons)
Mom, I got a rash where the reindeer licked me. (Simpsons)
The Simpsons 12 Days of Christmas. (Simpsons)
Mr. Burns releases the hounds on carolers. (Simpsons)
Have a nice Christmas / Hava Nagila – for Hannakuh. (Simpsons)
Dad, look – Santa’s here! I want to sit on his lap. (Family Guy)
Oh, god, I’ve ruined Christmas! Like the Little Drummer Boy when he got really into Neil Peart. (Family Guy)
The Carol of the Fries [Ding! Fries are done] (Family Guy)
I think I owe you this. (punch) That’s for giving me a book last Christmas. You’re rich, you jerk. (Family Guy)
Bring it on, Santa! (Futurama)
Tangled up Christmas lights! We can take shifts untangling them (Futurama)
Ahh, bathtub eggnog. Just the way grandma used to drink. (Futurama)
Hey, want to hear my Jimmy Stewart imitation? (Home Movies)
Hey, who wants to go to Megalomart and buy some tinsel? (King of the Hill)
Come on, Hank. Let’s go shoot us a Christmas tree. (King of the Hill)
This is one of those novelty Christmas songs that always sells a million freakin’ copies. (King of the Hill)
OK, we’re rockin” around the Christmas tree. Any requests? Couples only, OK, this’ll get you dancing close. (Space Ghost)
Come on, it’s Christmas. What about Jesus, you think he cared about getting a bunch of gifts on his birthday? Rum-pa-pa-pum, that’s all he wanted. (Everybody Loves Raymond)
An Ed Grimley Christmas. (Martin Short)
Three Stooges Christmas: Halt, who goes there? Santy Claus!
Denis Leary’s thoughts on Christmas.
William Shatner: “Dear Santa…”
Some people might consider that borderline naughty behavior.
Biggest day of the year deserves the biggest tree of the year.
I’d like everyone’s attention: Christmas has been canceled. You can’t cancel a holiday. Keep it up, Stanley, and you’ll lose New Years. (The Office)
Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. (The Office)
Christmas is awesome. (The Office)
I have the feeling of Christmas! And the face of Halloween. (Sanford and Son)
OK, time for bed, boys. Santa’s coming soon and he knows kids who stay up late are jerks. (Moral Orel)
Hi, guys and gals, welcome to our Christmas Jubilee of Stars. We’ve got a wonderful show planned for you, and we know you’re gonna have a rockin’ good time! (Alan Freed)
