CHRISTMAS TREE HUNTERS FIND HALF-NAKED KIDNAP VICTIM

A group of friends searching for Christmas trees in a California forest found a half-naked kidnapping victim instead. The group on Monday stumbled across the 25-year-old woman wearing only shorts and suffering from exposure in a rural wooded area of Redding. The victim, who wasn’t identified, had been drinking from mud puddles and huddled in a burned-out tree to survive the rain and snow. She told officers she’d been taken Sunday afternoon by two people she knew, because they thought she’d stolen their drugs. She claimed Johanna Knighten, 33, and Fred Sanderson, 44, then physically assaulted her and forced her to strip to her shorts before leaving her in the forest six miles from the nearest highway Sunday. Not knowing where she was and without any means of communication, she spent the night trying to seek shelter from the 30-degree cold. Police arrested Knighten after spotting her driving a white van the victim had described. The other alleged kidnapper is still at large.
* Once, when looking for a Christmas tree, I found an old mitten.
* “Oh, Christmas tree / Oh, Christmas tree / I see a half-nude lady.”
* Nothing says Christmas like a snowy woods, fresh pine trees and missing drugs.
* This would make a terrific Christmas movie for the Hallmark Channel: “A Crackhead Christmas”.
* Directed by Quentin Tarantino.
* Then police ticketed the heroes for stealing trees from public land.