CHOREPLAY

Ever heard of “Choreplay”? It’s when you get your husband to do chores in exchange for sex. When Instagram influencer Bri Dietz shared an image with her 79,678 followers of her and her husband kissing while holding up a letter board reading: “helping with housework so you can get lucky is called choreplay,” she received nearly 900 comments, not all of them good.
– Critics caution that choreplay promotes a twisted power dynamic. Samantha Burns, a relationship counselor, says, “Yes, the dishes might get done. But ultimately, you may feel like you’re in a transactional relationship, constantly bartering to get your needs met.” (* Samantha Burns, I’d like you to meet marriage. Marriage, this is Ms. Burns.)
– A woman named Laura B. wrote: “I wanted my husband to make a fire pit in our backyard, and told him that if he did it that weekend, I would spend the entire night focusing on him in the bedroom. He ended up injuring his back setting up the rocks, and was out of commission for a month. It made me feel bad, like he ignored common sense over the prospect of sex.”
* Well…. duh, lady.
* “Hey, honey, why are you still dressed? I thought we had a deal.” “A deal??? You call that bathroom clean???”
* I’ve dusted a few counters in my day, if you know what I’m saying. I’ve buffed a couple of floors in my time, if you get my drift. I’ve pulled a few hair clogs out of the shower drain, if you know what I mean. And I don’t.
* A better name for Choreplay might be Work-Release.