“DEAR ABBY” RETIRING
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Today Is…
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TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
DISNEY LAYS OFF PIXAR WORKERS
Disney, now known as Monsters, Inc.
ESPN FIRES ANNOUNCER IN MIDDLE OF LIVE BROADCAST
“Bye bye baby!” – Russ Hodges
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
OWN A PIECE OF THE WORLD CUP TURF: $450
A little piece of New Jersey.
“THE ODYSSEY” IN IMAX: ONLY 25 THEATERS
And they’re all sold out.
DISNEY REBOOTS MICKEY MOUSE CLUB
And doing it without a net.
“TODAY SHOW” INTRUDER LUNGES AT CRAIG MELVIN
Who coulda forecast this, right Al Roker?
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
What happens when two snails get into a fight?
They slug it out.
How can you tell if a hamburger was grilled in space?
It’s a little meteor.
What did one pig say to the other pig in Phoenix in July?
I’m bacon!
A guy is dancing with a girl, and they’re really swinging.
But every time he twirls her around, she gets two inches taller. He says, “What’s going on?” She says, “You’re unscrewing my wooden leg.”
What did the full glass say to the empty glass?
You’re drunk.
U.S. NEWS
CIRCUS PERFORMER SHOT IN NECK WITH AN ARROW
Arch enemy.
SAILOR RESCUED AFTER A MONTH AT SEA
Just off the boat.
DRYER SHEET IN THE MAILBOX
Do WHAT in the mailbox?
HORROR CIRCUS – THE SCARIEST SHOW ON EARTH
Cirque du Slay.
HUMAN REMAINS FOUND WHILE CLEANING OUT DEAD RELATIVE’S FREEZER
No wonder Aunt Betty missed Thanksgiving last year.
U.S. BEACH IS WORLD’S TOP BEACH… SORTA
You’ll never get see it.
MICHIGAN MAN DUMPS ANIMAL PARTS AT CEMETERY
The plot thickens.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
POLICE SEEK DARTS FAN DRESSED AS A LOBSTER
Never argue with a lobster.
SWISS DOG OWNERS MUST NOW CLEAN UP URINE
Once again, cats get off scot-free.
TURKISH GOVERNOR FIRED FOR WEARING TIGHT CYCLING SHORTS
Next time take up bowling.
CHEF FACES JAIL TIME FOR INTENTIONAL ANTS ON THE FOOD
There’s a fly in my soup.
JAPAN CREATES NEW WORD FOR HOW HOT IT IS
Cruel Heat Day.
VISIT GLORIOUS DUBAI!
Don’t forget the sunscreen!
AUDIO: PILOTS GET FOOD POISONING
Surely you can’t be serious.
SPAIN SOCCER TEAM MEMBERS AWARDED THEIR WEIGHT IN TOMATOES
¡Vaya! ¡Tomates! Muchas gracias, tacaños.
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
Looking At Lava
Gee, Your Hair Smells Great
That Bike’s Gone, Bro
Seal In A Bucket
Laundry Day In The Batcave
Feed Me
THE BUZZ
MODERN-DAY SCRAPBOOK
Have you seen my childhood?
MY UNKNOWN TALENT
Show off.
SURVEY – SLEEP HABITS CAUSE BREAKUPS
Snooze ya lose.
IF YOUR CAR HAD A MAGIC BUTTON
I’m sure Elon is working on it.
DUMB HEADLINES
We’re in full summer dumb mode.
NICKNAMES
It means we like you.
SURVEY: YOUR DREAM JOB
Mattress tester.
WE SIT TOO MUCH
Shocking study from the Sherlock Institute.
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
HAUNTED HEIST
Starts Friday, July 24 in theaters.
PINOCCHIO UNSTRUNG
Starts Friday, July 24 in theaters.
THE ODYSSEY
Starts Friday, July 17 in theaters.
MOANA
Starts Friday, July 10 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
BUZZFEST
Who doesn’t like a good summer music festival?
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, July 24.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
ALPHA-MALE BITS
Part of this new vicious breakfast.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, July 17.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – Christmas In July
‘Tis the season to be stupid.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, July 10,
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND- The Bed Bunker
If at first you don’t succeed – at selling cars – try selling something else.
LAWN DIRECTOR
Be the first on your block to have a blockbuster lawn.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, July 3.
SONIC BOOMERS
For when you’re tired of fireworks that just go boom.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
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