AUDIO: FINGERS FROM FIREWORK FAILURE FOUND
They belonged to a guy in another state.
SERIAL ICE CREAM THIEF SENTENCED
A month in the cooler.
CAR UNDERWEAR SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTS
It was a brief fire.
DRUG DOG FINDS METH IN BOX OF TWINKIES
Who’s a good boy?!
SCHOOL DISTRICT BANS RAP MUSIC ON BUSES
Also talk shows.
MAN WALKS NAKED AROUND MOTEL
Says he was bored.
AUDIO: NEW YORK SUBWAY + BUGS + WORMS = CRAZY TIME
She let loose a box of bait.
BATMAN STEALS BEER
Batman robbin’.
TRANSGENDER KEN DOLL CAKE CAUSES RUCKUS
As Ken doll cakes do.
TEXAS STEAKHOUSE WAITER SHOOTS AT ABUSIVE CUSTOMERS
The Little Red Barn in San Antonio.