Did you hear about the big sale at the Lego store?
People are lining up for blocks.
Why did the man find stir fry all over his bed in the morning?
He’d been sleep wokking.
A man walks into a bar and yells, “I think all lawyers are jerks!”
Someone from the other end of the bar shouts, “Hey! I resent that!”
Man says, “Why? Are you a lawyer?”
“No! I’m a jerk!”
A Stoner finds a magic lamp and rubs it.
A Genie appears and says “I can grant you three wishes, what is your first wish”. The Stoner says “I wish me and you could smoke nice fat joint.” A beautiful joint appears and they both smoke it. After they finish, the Genie asks “OK, what about wish number 2?” The Stoner says, “How about we smoke another joint?” Another doobie magically appears and they both smoke it. The Genie then asks “What do you want for your third and final wish?” The Stoner says, “Let’s have another joint together.” Which they do. When they’re done, the Genie disappears back into the lantern. Five minutes later, the Genie pops out of the lantern and says, “So, what do you want to do about this fourth wish?”
Where do fish keep their money?
In the river bank.
What do you call a movie about uncooked potatoes?
Mashin’ Impossible.