MAN DISGUISED AS CHRISTMAS TREE SLASHES TIRES
Yule laugh.
WOMAN HAS SURPRISE BABY ON AIRPLANE
Baby, schmaby, get that drink cart down here!
SNAKE CRAWLS OUT OF SUSPECT’S JACKET DURING ARREST
Who put that there?
STOLEN GERMAN BULL SEMEN
Beef stroganoff.
CHINESE DRIVER STUCK IN CAR THAT WOULDN’T STOP
Pop quiz, hotshot.
INDONESIA OUTLAWS SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE
The crankiest place on Earth.
BRAZILIAN MAN NOT DEAD, DOESN’T WANT TO GO ON THE CART
He says he’s not dead.
ANOTHER AUSTRALIAN THING THAT WILL KILL YOU: COCKATOOS
Bombing pedestrians with potted plants.
BUDDHIST MONKS TEST POSITIVE FOR METH
High in the Himalayas, and all that.