FIREWORKS CANCELED ON ACCOUNT OF WALRUS
Goo goo ga-joob.
WOMAN MISTAKES LIVE TASMANIAN DEVIL FOR DOG TOY
The devil you say.
HUSBAND DRIVES OFF WHILE WIFE IS ON BATHROOM BREAK
And he almost got away with it.
MAN HAD WW1 ARTILLERY SHELL STUCK IN HIS BUTT
That’s one way to avoid a gas attack.
AUDIO: TWO DEAD, ONE INJURED FROM HANUKKAH DONUTS
No, not bagels. Better.
AIRLINE SENDS DOG TO SAUDI ARABIA INSTEAD OF NASHVILLE
Bluebell of Arabia.
AUDIO: UK MOM CUTS HOLES IN DAUGHTER’S PJ’S, BLAMES ELF ON THE SHELF
Very nice, Mrs. Dahmer.
TAINTED AUSTRALIAN SPINACH CAUSES HALLUCINATIONS
It yam what it yam.
HOTEL AQUARIUM SHATTERS; FISH ALL OVER THE LOBBY
Tippen Sie nicht auf das Glas!