The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, “You don’t know Jack Schitt.” Now you can intellectually handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc….
Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. Your orgasms are real. Always. Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow. Wedding plans take care of themselves. You don’t have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night. Chocolate is just another snack….
We got off the Titanic first. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses. We never ejaculate prematurely. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy…
Yo mama is so fat, when she was a kid she could only play seek. Yo mama is so old she got a kickstand. Yo mama’s house is so small, she has to go outside to eat a large pizza. Yo mama’s so old she only has two teeth, and they’re both in her pocket!…
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose. Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims? And whose cruel idea was it to put an “S” in the word “Lisp”? If…
Please Login to view this content. (Not a member? Join Today!)
Please Login to view this content. (Not a member? Join Today!)
Please Login to view this content. (Not a member? Join Today!)
Please Login to view this content. (Not a member? Join Today!)