MOST OF US LIE TO OUR DENTIST
And that’s the awful tooth.
COCKROACH MILK
Why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free, from under the sink.
THE STRANGEST REASONS FOR DIVORCE
“She keeps eating MY food.”
DUMB HEADLINES
There’s never a dumb time for Dumb Headlines!
IS YOUR JOB MAKING YOU UGLY?
Yeah, it’s the job’s fault.
THE “LIST 5 THINGS YOU DID LAST WEEK” GENERATOR
Thank you, Elon, for making this necessary.
WHERE WOMEN DON’T WANT TO GO ON A FIRST DATE
Pack a picnic.
ACTUALLY, I WOULD WISH THAT ON MY WORST ENEMY
May a diseased yak leave a deposit in your sock drawer.
MINIMUM DATING REQUIREMENTS
For me? They must be breathing.
BELLY FAT GOOD FOR THE BRAIN
Makes you s-m-r-t.