GO AHEAD, PUT UP THOSE XMAS DECORATIONS NOW
You pathetic loser.
NEIMAN MARCUS FANTASY GIFT CATALOGUE
A Barbie-pink Maserti.
STUDY: ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE GET BETTER GRADES
Hot for student.
NEWS FLASH: MONEY BUYS HAPPINESS
Thank you, Professor Obvious.
DON’T EVER USE THESE RESTAURANT JOKES AGAIN
Yes, you’re hilarious, now shut up.
THREE DUMB HEADLINES
Dumbvember is in full swing.
THINGS I DIDN’T KNOW UNTIL I LIVED WITH A WOMAN
The more you know.
NUMBER OF PEOPLE IN THE WORLD: 8 BILLION
Give or take a Bangla Desh or two.
THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU’RE 40
Or after, doesn’t really matter.
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BABY NAMES IN THE WORLD
So beautiful, they’ll make you plotz.