BURYING UNDERPANTS FOR SCIENCE

Scientists in Switzerland are sending thousands of pairs of white underwear to volunteers, to have them bury the underpants in their backyards. Researchers will later dig up and examine the underwear to determine the health of the soil that covered them. The researchers from government institute Agroscope says the test underwear is made from 100 per cent biodegradable organic cotton, which can serve as a food source for various microorganisms in the soil. The microorganisms eat the underpants. The more active microorganisms live in the soil, the faster the underpants will be eaten up. Each volunteer will receive two pair of underpants. One will be dug up after a month, the other after two months. They’ll be analyzed for holes to determine the health of the soil.
* You’ve never seen so much soiled underpants.
* You can analyze the holes in MY underwear to determine how cheap I am.
* They could just do the experiment with a handkerchief, but underwear gives it a little more pizazz.
* “No, no no — just bury the underwear. Don’t put them on Grampa first.”
* Sure, they could collect actual soil samples from around the country, but that’s not goofy enough.