BIG BIRD COSTUME STOLEN, RETURNED

A $160,000 Big Bird costume has been returned after being stolen from a circus in Adelaide, Australia. Police were called to the Sesame Street Circus Spectacular in Thebarton after two men were seen carrying what appeared to be the missing costume early on Wednesday morning. The 7-foot tall, bright yellow costume, reportedly made of ostrich feathers, was later dumped near an electricity box outside the circus by two men, who ran away. There was a “letter of apology” in the beak, saying: “We had no idea what we were doing, or what our actions would cause. We were just having a rough time and were trying to cheer ourselves up. We had a great time with Mr. Bird, he’s a great guy and no harm came to our friend.” They signed it The Big Bird Bandits. Police are searching for the men.
* Today’s episode is brought to you by the letters A.P.B.
* (Speaking with Count von Count Dracula accent): “Let’s count how many years they’ll get in prison for grand larceny. ONE – one year! TWO – two years! THREE – three years …” (fade out).
* When do you suppose the naughty pictures with the Big Bird costume will start showing up on the internet?
* They should have put Sherlock Hemlock on the case.