THURSDAY – May 21
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MAN DRIVES HIS CYBERTRUCK INTO A LAKE ON PURPOSE
Or should that be… on porpoise?
DUMB HEADLINES
Actual headlines! Actual dumbness!
SEAGULL POOPS ON KING CHARLES
Disproving the Theory of Kings in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
NBC MOST WATCHED NETWORK THIS SEASON
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STEPHEN COLBERT FINALE TO RUN LONG
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INVENTOR OF “TICKLE ME ELMO” DIES
Ha ha!!— I mean, boo-hoo.
BEST PLACE TO LIVE THIS YEAR: CARMEL, INDIANA
I’d walk a mile for a Carmel.
POSSIBLE BURGLAR STUCK IN WALL FOR 10 HOURS
Wall-to-wall excitement.
LAS VEGAS HEART ATTACK GRILL CLOSING
Cardiac-ac-ac-ac-ac-ac.