Today Is…
Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!
TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
REALITY TV STAR WINNER OF THE IDITAROD DOGSLED RACE
The dogs had something to do with it, too.
ACADEMY AWARD WINNERS LIST
WInner winner, not for Sinners.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
THE RAZZIE AWARDS: WINNERS LIST
Ptthhhhhht!
SESAME STREET SUES SEA WORLD
Big Bird, big lawsuit.
HALF OF AMERICA DOESN’T GO TO THE MOVIES ANYMORE
How did “Five Nights at Freddy’s 2” not pull them in?
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
How did the magician get chocolate on his shirt?
He had some Twix up his sleeve.
What did the octopus say to the bagpipes?
“Nice pajamas.”
A woman lived with her daughter and son-in-law.
One day she came home to find her son-in-law packing a suitcase. He says, “I’m leaving, it’s the end of our marriage. I texted my wife to say I’d be home early, and when I got here I found her in bed with another man.” The mother-in-law said, “No, my daughter would never do that, there must be a simple explanation, I’ll go and talk to her.” After a while, the mother-in-law comes back and says, “There, I told you there was a simple explanation. She never got your text.”
Why wouldn’t the nearsighted vampire buy glasses?
He just couldn’t see himself wearing them.
Guy staggers into a bar.
Bartender says, “You look beat.”
Guy says, “I just walked five mile, climbed two trees, waded across a creek, almost stepped on a rattlesnake and outran a bear.”
Bartender says, “You must be quite the outdoorsman.”
Guy says, “No, I’m just a lousy golfer.”
U.S. NEWS
COP JUMPS ON HOOD OF RANDOM MOVING CAR TO CHASE SUSPECT
Police training goes right out the window.
NCAA BRACKET, AS PREDICTED BY AI
Not perfect, but pretty, pretty good.
MAN ROBS SIX BANKS, GETS $605
Crime doesn’t pay.
PATIENT WON’T LEAVE HOSPITAL
Next time… on The Pitt.
PYTHON SNAKES PRODUCE APPETITE SUPPRESSANT
So, eat a snake?
RESTAURANT ROBOT GOES NUTS
Jane, how do you stop this crazy thing!
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
CANADIAN DISASTER: TIM HORTON’S COLOR-CHANGING MUGS RECALLED
The Great White Ouch.
STRANDED SKIERS WRITE S.O.S. WITH ICE CHUNKS
Never mind, it says, “HELF.”
KAYAKERS ATTACKED BY HOT AIR BALLOON
The Golden Age Of Ambush Ballooning.
GOLDFISH DRIVES CAR 40 FEET
It was a little car.
JAPANESE MAN FALLS INTO HOLE ON TOP OF HIBERNATING BEAR
Crankier than the average bear.
CHINESE MAN CAUGHT SMUGGLING ANTS ONTO AIRPLANE
Surprisingly, not in his pants.
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
Do You Know How Hello You Were Kittying?
And God Created The Cat Meme
What. The. Hell.
You Have To Water Them
Give Them To Someone You Hate
Cleaning Crew
THE BUZZ
AT LAST, A CLEAR-CUT DEFINITION OF COMPULSIVE SHOPPING DISORDER
I’m not buyin’ it.
THE BEST/WORST DOG NAMES
At least it’s not Bella.
NEED A BABYSITTER? GO TO HOME DEPOT
An oversensory wonderland!
I’LL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN
Miserable experiences.
DUMB HEADLINES
The headlines that make you go: “Nope.”
MOST POPULAR DOG BREEDS FOR 2026
Good boy.
ROAD TRIP FAVORITES
Get gas, eat here.
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
PROJECT HAIL MARY
Starts Friday, March 20 in theaters.
READY OR NOT 2: HERE I COME
Starts Friday, March 20 in theaters.
THE POUT-POUT FISH
Starts Friday, March 20 in theaters.
UNDERTONE
Starts Friday, March 13 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, March 20.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
SONG: MY FAVORITE SPRING BREAK
These are what kids do on break in the spring.
A & M AUTOLAND – Suggestion Box
Big Al and Big Mike are asking for feedback – and boy are they going to get it.
SONG: WHEN YOU’RE IRISH IN A BAR
‘Tis a song for the day, boyo.
JACK 0’LANTERNS
We overstocked at Halloween.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, March 13.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – Anniversary
Sometimes, anniversaries are joyous occasions. Sometimes not.
ADOLESCENT MOTIVATION CENTER
Tried and true methods that work!
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, March 6.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – EZLease
Sorry, but with Al and Mike, nothing is ever easy.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, Fedbruary 27.
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