AUDIO: HIGH MAN DEFECATES IN DRIVEWAY, TRIES TO HAVE SEX WITH TRASH CAN
Police in Aberdeen, Washington, received a call last Tuesday night of a man peeking in windows. Another caller said the man was not wearing pants and was defecating in a driveway before attempting to fornicate with a garbage can. Responding officers said the 25-year-old Aberdeen man was unable to communicate with them. Police felt that he may have ingested a large amount of marijuana or synthetic marijuana. Officials transported the man to a hospital for further evaluation. Police checked the area afterwards and found no “deposits” in the driveway.
* “Darlene, your date is here.”
* Some guys just like to go out with trash.
* Meanwhile, the trashcan didn’t appreciate being treated like garbage.
* How do you romance a garbage can? Do you show up with spoiled candy and rotten flowers?
* Darn, Aberdeen’s favorite son – Kurt Cobain – would have loved this story.
* In fact, it sounds a little like Kurt.
* Wait, the story gets worse: It was an underage garbage can.
* Turns out this was rebound sex. The man had just broken up with a trash compactor.
* Well, it’s official: Monday is now underway.
CLIP: Our song “Snortin’ Up the Bath Salts”.
