ASSAULT WITH A BRISKET

Officers were called to the Danville, Kentucky, street festival as cooks were preparing their meats for the day’s barbeque festival. Two men were sharing the same cooker when an argument broke out about someone “hogging the grill.” An employee of D-Bo’s barbeque restaurant picked up a brisket out of the cooker and tossed it toward the Firehouse barbeque restaurant camp. A worker for Firehouse BBQ was hit by the flying, hot piece of meat, estimated to be more than 200 degrees. Police say it caused burns to her neck, back and shoulder. She was treated on the scene. Mike Owings, 42, of Cunningham, Kentucky was charged with second-degree wanton endangerment. Police were not able to recover the “weapon.”
* Wonton endangerment? What happened to the brisket?
* An argument about hogging the grill because they can’t quite get their heads around the advanced concept of “taking turns.”
* “We’re gonna need a bigger grill.”
* It could have been worse. It could have been a chili cook-off.
* See what I mean? Chefs = Drama.
* So the cook who threw it didn’t even hit the cook he was throwing at? That’s pretty bad considering they were around 2 feet apart.
* The solution here is simple: These cooks need to stop “hogging the grill” and get back to “grilling the hog.”
* I’ve got your hot piece of meat right here for you.
* I always wonder about towns named Danville. Wouldn’t you name the town after someone’s last name instead?
* Then again, there is a town called George in the state of Washington.
* But under the Danville method, our nation’s capitol would be called GeorgeVille, D.C.