AMERICA'S FIRST PENIS TRANSPLANT

A cancer patient has received the first penis transplant in the United States. Thomas Manning of Halifax, Massachusetts, received the transplanted penis in a 15-hour procedure last week. The organ was transplanted from a deceased donor. Doctors say that normal urination should be possible for the 64-year-old Manning in a few weeks, with sexual function possible in weeks to months. Most of Manning’s penis had been removed because of an aggressive and potentially fatal penile cancer. Manning said he experienced hardly any pain during and after the procedure. He said his recovery has been smooth, but he still wasn’t ready to take a close look at the transplant. Manning, who is single and was not involved with anyone when the cancer was discovered, said the amputation made new relationships impossible. He said he’ll be lucky if he gets to “75 percent” of what he used to be. He says he looks forward to going back to work and hopes to have a love life again.
* He’s going back to work as a spokesman for Snap-On Tools.
* When doctors receive the organ for transplant, is it marked “This Side Up”?
* Was it hard? The surgery, I mean.
* Once again I just want to give a big shout out to God for creating a special cancer for every single part of the human body.
* Penile cancer, or as they call in in Britain, “Spotted Dick.”
* Actually, this was the second transplanted penis. The first one was when Ted Cruz moved here from Canada.
* Give me a moment … I need to bask in the glow of that one for a second.
* I think this guy’s going to be quite happy with the results. They had to lower the new penis in place with a crane.
* A 15-hour procedure? Wow, can you imagine what surgeons charge for overtime?
* The amputation of his penis made new relationships impossible? Well, you don’t have to go to med school to figure that out.