AMERICA’S DREAM HOME

A study by Homes.com of 2,000 Americans asked people to conceptualize their dream home. Here is the average American dream home:
– Four bedrooms, three bathrooms, an abundance of wood and glass, a two-car garage, and a view of the beach.
– Average size: 2,756 square feet.
– Hardwood floors.
– An open gourmet kitchen with stainless-steel appliances and smart-home technology.
– A backyard deck, walk-in closet, pool, fireplace, and a balcony with a view.
– Plenty of storage.
– Beach-house décor.
– The nearest neighbors would be “down the street.”
* Also, the Property Brothers on call 24/7.
* God, I just… I just don’t feel like….going home now. Or ever.
* “A view of the beach”? Sorry, 90% of America.
* Congratulations, HGTV, you have successfully brainwashed the American masses.
* A gourmet kitchen, because Americans love opening up their fast food dinners in a gourmet kitchen.
* They forgot “No f-ing rabbits, deer, or Canadian geese.”
* And “someone to clean the place.”
* It’s called a “dream home” ’cause – y’know – “in your dreams, pal.”