ALABAMA LAWMAKER SAYS GOD TOLD HIM TO BAN SAGGY PANTS

A community in Alabama is on the verge of banning saggy pants. One lawmaker said it’s because God doesn’t like the look. Dadeville, Alabama, City Council member Frank Goodman wanted some guidance on the issue of teens wearing saggy pants. At last week’s council meeting, he said, “I prayed about this. I know that God would not go around with pants down.” Goodman said God showed him this saggy pant – “it’s one of the things He did not do. It is not in His orders to do that to gain eternal life.” The proposed pants ban hit a snag when it was pointed out that it could be unfairly applied to men and not to women. As a result, the proposal is being rewritten to include short skirts.
* No, wait a minute. I think God likes short skirts.
* God also said he hates fanny packs on men.
* I smell yet another remake of “Footloose” coming.
* And yes, it would be called “Pantsloose.”
* One thing’s for sure – Alabama sure has the “Alabama” thing down pat.
* No place on earth does “Alabama” better than Alabama.
* Maybe Frank Goodman just really, really wants Bill Maher to make fun of him this Friday night.
* I’ll tell you why I don’t like saggy pants. They remind me of the original advertising campaign with Jared from Subway and his oversized pants from when he was fat. Ick.
* Be Like Mike. Don’t Be Like Jared.
* Saggy pants, shmaggy pants. What about when people stretch their earlobes and put a hole in the middle to make them look like donuts?
* Frankly, who knows how God wears his pants under that robe?
* God would not go around with his pants down? Well, it’s hard to argue with that.
* Catching God with his pants down would mean you surprised Him, and how could you surprise God?
* So this guy is on solid theological ground here for sure.
* Besides, having a council member who receives direct messages from God must make running the city a breeze.
* My question would be about football: Is God an Alabama or an Auburn fan?