WIFE BITES HUSBAND'S SCROTUM DURING SCUFFLE

A Greenwood, Indiana, man was arrested after a domestic incident in which his wife bit his scrotum. Officers responded to a domestic battery call last Saturday. On their way to the scene, officers received a call that the husband, Dan Deaton, was attempting to leave the scene in a black Honda Accord. A responding officer spotted the vehicle and pulled it over. The driver identified himself as Dan Deaton. Deaton stated he was on his way to the police station to report he had been assaulted by his wife, Stacy Deaton. He told officers that he sat on his wife in order to calm her down during an argument. It was at that point he said she bit his scrotum. Deaton was taken into custody, for assaulting his wife.
* “Mmmmm … scrotum.”
* That’s nuts.
* Think it’s funny? No, it tain’t.
* Could you two at least TRY to get into the holiday spirit?
* They told him to take a seat in the holding cell, and he said, “No, thanks, not right now.”
* He sits on her, she bites his scrotum. Can’t we call it even?
* I mean, it’s not like he’s ever going to do THAT again.
* Anybody else picturing one of those Christmas soldier nutcracker figures where the mouth cracks the nuts?
* You rarely see a fun story with the word scrotum in it.
* I’m not saying it’s impossible, but here at the wacky news, a scrotum usually means something bad has happened.
* And I think having an angry woman biting your scrotum would qualify as “something bad.”
* Now the guy knows what he wants for Christmas: a titanium jockstrap.