JANITOR LEAVES JARS OF EXCREMENT IN CEILING

New York State Police said there is no known motive as to why a man left containers of excrement and urine in the ceiling of the Department of Environmental Conservation’s downtown Albany office building. Police charged Clifford Davidson, 32, with felony criminal mischief on Thursday following a two-month probe into the incident. Davidson worked as a nighttime janitor at the building. They used DNA evidence to link the alleged fecal felon to the more than 40 containers of excrement and urine left on the fourth floor and above ceiling tiles. Police also discovered a clue that helped them sniff out (* har!) Davidson: he left an electric bill in one of the bottles. Police said he had been leaving excrement and urine since March, though it wasn’t until May that the building had to be shut down because the human waste began to seep through the ceiling.
* And here everybody thought the smell was coming from that weird new guy.
* Maybe he didn’t want to mess the bathrooms after he cleaned them?
* Hard to say why he did it but I doubt it was because he loved his job so much.
* Containers of excrement right over our heads. What a great metaphor for government.
* See, ladies? Sometimes having a glass ceiling helps prevent these crimes.
* He left an electric bill in one of the jars? How did it survive going through his digestive system?
* If he gets another job, I hope it’s outside.