WOMAN CONKED WITH PACKAGE OF SAUSAGE

Police in Des Moines, Iowa, are looking for a man who allegedly knocked out his father’s girlfriend with a package of frozen bratwurst. The 50-year-old woman was fed up with the man’s 44-year-old son “freeloading and paying for nothing” for the past month at their home. She told him to pack up and leave. He laughed as he gathered his things and loaded them into a friend’s car. She checked the freezer for any food he had left behind, finding an abandoned package of frozen bratwurst. She tossed the brats into the yard after him. When she turned to walk back inside the home, the man hurled the sausages at the back of her head. The woman said she blacked out and fell from the blow. The wound, which required staples, left her with a deep gash in the back of her head. A warrant was issued for the man’s arrest on assault charges.
* Why, I never sausage a thing!
* So it went from brats to wurst.
* I tell you what: This punk brought out the wurst in her.
* Throwing frozen food at your father’s girlfriend. That’s cold.
* Could have been worse. Could have been an Easter ham.
* So … Did they save the bratwurst?
* I like how the food choices reflect the arrival of the summer barbecue season.
* For example, during the holidays, the weapon would more likely be a fruitcake.
* No wait, a tossed fruitcake would kill someone.