MAN'S LIFE ENDANGERED, AND SAVED, BY PIZZA

The staff at a Domino’s Pizza in Salem, Oregon, became worried when their Number 1 customer – a man who had been ordering pizzas from them regularly for more than a decade – hadn’t ordered from them in 11 days. They sent a driver to knock on customer Kirk Alexander’s door early Sunday morning and he didn’t receive an answer, even though there were lights and a television on inside. They called 911. Sheriff’s deputies checked out the situation and heard a man calling for help. They found Alexander suffering from medical problems that could have ended his life. As of Monday, Alexander was in stable condition at a hospital. Deputies didn’t say what medical problems Alexander was experiencing. He suffers from severe health problems, they said.
* Probably artery blockage from the you-know-what.
* Anyway, no matter what his health problem is, pizza can’t be helping.
* Unless he’s suffering from a life-threatening shortage of trans fat.
* What do you normally tip a pizza guy for saving your life?
* Of course Domino’s wants to save the guy. He’s their meal ticket, literally.
* I bet the postman noticed a problem first, but didn’t do anything about it. Thanks, post office!
* You know it’s bad when the local pizza parlor knows your order by heart.
* I went through that one summer at Ben and Jerry’s.
* It sounds like Domino’s is on a serious ego trip: “If he hasn’t ordered a pizza from us, there must be something very wrong.”
* Relax, the pizzas aren’t that great.
* Okay, they were right this time, but didn’t they wonder if, after ten years, he just wanted something else?