FUNERAL DIRECTOR HAS FAMILY DIG HOLE

When Helen Anthony of Fruitland, Michigan, died in December, the family went to funeral director Thomas Claude Clock III to arrange for a cremation and burial of her remains. On December 28, Clock told them that “there was no hole in which to bury the remains because Fruitland Township’s employees were not working because of the holidays.” Clock then told the family to use a post hole digger to dig a hole themselves. The family dug the hole and buried the box brought to the gravesite by Mr. Clock. It was only later that the family learned that Mrs. Anthony’s ashes weren’t actually in the box they buried. In fact, she had not even been cremated. Her remains were found weeks later in the back of Clock’s van while he was hospitalized after a January 9th drunk-driving arrest. It also turned out that Fruitland Township never received a call about arranging a burial Dec. 28, and they were, in fact, open during the holidays. Plus, allowing the family to dig their own hole is not allowed. A records search also found that Clock’s license to work as a funeral director had lapsed in October 2015. Clock was charged with common-law fraud and attempted larceny, along with practicing mortuary services without a license.
* Come on. This is just nitpicking, isn’t it?
* That must have been an interesting phone call to the family.
* “This is the Sheriff’s Department. I have some news about Helen Anthony. You might want to sit down. But first, get a notepad.”
* Please tell me he didn’t have one of those bumper stickers: “If this van’s a-rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’.”
* So things aren’t all peachy in Fruitland, Michigan.
* Now the family is fighting mad and if he doesn’t watch out, Thomas Clock is going to get clocked.
* And as far as his career is concerned, Clock’s time has run out.
* Allowing the family to dig their own hole is not allowed? Is that a union thing?
* I have to say, Thomas Claude Clock III is not doing a very good job of maintaining the legacy of Thomas Claude Clocks I and II.
* Unless they were also jerks.
* Life is too short. Just tell us the parts of the story where everything went right.
* Oh, I get it: there were none.
* You certainly don’t want a funeral director who doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground.