WOMAN ASSAULTS SLEEPING MAN WITH GRITS, BASEBALL BAT

In Capitol Heights, Maryland, sheriff’s deputies arrested a woman who allegedly poured hot grits on a man while he slept, then struck him over the head with a baseball bat when he jumped out of bed. Alexis Staton is charged with first-degree assault, and second-degree assault and reckless endangerment. The attack sent the victim out of the house with burns to his body and a bloody head wound.
* It sent him out of the house, and out of the relationship.
* As far as it being time to leave her is concerned – this was a wake-up call.
* Grits and a baseball bat – part of this nutritious breakfast.
* “Wakey, wakey, eggs and HOT GRITS AND A BASEBALL BAT!!!”
* If I can ask … hominy grits? Does it say?
* “True Grit 2: That’s Hot!”
* I know baseball is really heating up right now, but this is ridiculous.
* In the movie, the woman will be played by Liam Neeson.
* Somehow I don’t think a simple apology will be enough here.
* Too bad it wasn’t the other way around. Maybe the burns would have cauterized the head wound.
* Then again, if we’re changing what happened, it’s too bad these two even met.
* This is nothing. You should see this woman when she really gets mad.