NASA FINDS PLANET SIMILAR TO EARTH

NASA announced Thursday that the Kepler Space Telescope has discovered a planet orbiting its star at the same distance as our planet orbits the Sun. NASA is calling the planet Kepler 452b. Its radius is about 60 percent larger than Earth’s, it orbits its star in 385 days, its star is 4 percent more massive than the Sun and 10 percent brighter. The planet orbits its star at an optimal distance where liquid water could form – the so-called “habitable zone,” or “Goldilocks zone,” NASA said. Kepler 452b, which is 1,400 light-years away, could offer scientists a look at Earth’s ominous future in more than a billion years.
* Thanks, but Earth’s ominous future is already here.
* Everything’s 60 percent bigger? On Kepler 452b, the women are 60 percent more satisfied.
* The potato chip bags are actually full to the top.
* They also have 20% more cable channels.
* And you can download all the seasons of “Mad Men” in three seconds.
* A year is 385 days? Does that mean kids get an extra 20 days of summer vacation?
* You know what this means? Someday we may be able to trash a whole new planet.
* That is if we can get past all our space junk and launch a rocket there.
* Their star is 10% brighter? No problem. We have sun block for that.
* Look, if they want us to take this seriously they might come up with a better term than the Goldilocks Zone.
* And you might work on some sexier names. Kepler 452b sounds like the apartment across the hall from Kepler 452a.
* NASA just likes to let us know every now and then that’s they’re still there and keepin’ busy.